Kidney Stones = PAIN!!!

I have 3 kidney stones, and I feel as if I've been ran over by a M*ack truck. I've never had kidney stones ever in my life before. I almost had to be admitted into the hospital last night, b/c of them. The Dr. in the ER said that if they were a tenth of a millimeter larger I would require surgery for their removal. Thank God I didn't need surgery though. I'm on some medicine that makes my urine orange and another to break up the stones and an anti-biotic for infection. I have to catch all my urine in a hat to strain it to see for stones, and if I don't pass any before my meds are done then I may need surgery. I'm so scared. I've had plenty of surgeries before, but it's different now. I have *B* now, and I worry. My best-friend in the whole world died from having surgery done. Not for the same reason, but still she died. Before I would of never cared...I mean sure I'm scared to die, who isn't?? It's just now I'm a mother and I have my baby to worry about. I see how my godson is being brought up by his father since the passing of his mom (my BFF), and I worry about *B* not being brought up like I would want him to be brought up if something were to happen to me. I don't know I guess I'm just scared and jumping to unnecessarily morbid conclusions. I guess plan for the best prepare for the worst type of thing. I just pray these stones pass on their own.

MIA- and for good reason

As, I'm sure you're all well aware on any board I frequent that I've been MIA. Not long after my last entry here DH fell off a machine at work and hurt his back quite badly, as well as broke the entire tip off his tailbone. So, for the past couple of weeks I feel like I've had no time for anything. Between caring for *B* which is my full-time job, and then taking care of DH which has become my part-time job, that leaves little to no time for me. DH is doing better now, but still I feel as if he's my second child these days. He's back to work as of this week on light duty, which is sitting on his butt and twiddling his thumbs (he'll even tell you that is all he does, b/c there is nothing else for him to do). He's on day shift (a major switch up from 7p-7a nights), which is a blessing and a curse all in one. The blessing is he's not missing so much of *B*'s daily activity in the height of his awake time, the curse is DH and I are spending to much time together which we aren't used to anymore and all he does is whine about this or that, so our fighting (errr bickering) is out of control. I don't know though I guess the upside is we're working on things between us.

Secondly, I've been gone, b/c I'm in funk computer wise. I'm not sure if it's that time of year, b/c I see a pattern in my writing around this time of year, or if things on the internet just seem redundant anymore. Who knows???

Any way, I'm up for this blogging challenge that I've agreed to at COF (a board I frequent), so I'm going to try to take at leat 10min a day to myself to jumble my thoughts into words and get an entry out once a day, minus weekends of course. Hopefully I'm able to do it. Good Luck to the rest of you doing this blog challenge as well. I have many things to write about, but for now I'm off to tend to DH who's bellowing at me from the couch....arghhhhh!!!! Until Next time.............

Mulitple Dr. Appts. and Prayers Needed

Well, I tend to try to make it top priority to get an annual physical each January. As well as forcing DH to get one too. (I get so scared that he doesn't go to the Dr. all year long even when he's horribly sick or in pain, that one time when we go in there the Dr. will run tests and it will show cancer, just as it did for his parents who passed away.) So, we headed off to the Dr. today get the work-up done. Well, for the record this new Dr. that took over for my old Dr. has HORRIBLE bedside manner. So, any way, I went in and he asked about my sugars, if I were having any hypothroidism symptoms, and just the general physical Q&A. My only general complaint was that I've started getting the same nagging yet sometimes stabbing pain in my right side as I got while I was pregnant when I had elevated liver enzymes with the toxemia. Well, the pain has persistantly gotten worse the past couple of months. Well, the idiot decied to lower my metformin dosage before he got back my bloodwork, which ticks me off, b/c that is what he did with my synthroid and he threw my TSH levels WAY out of whack. So, I'm just waiting for my sugars to start jumping all over the place too. Not to mention his rudeness of telling me in his exact words, "You need to lose weight, you're extremely obese, and doing so will help your sugars and possibly your right sided pain." Can you say "A$$HOLE!!"? Any way, after all that was said and done, he sent me to the lab to get 3 vials of blood taken and urine.

Now onto DH....In the past month he's being getting some type of pain right where his ribs meet together in the front. He's been saying that he thinks he has an ulcer, but I think it's his gallbladder. So, the Dr. examines him rights out his lab work, and starts to put something on there for blood work. At this point DH tells the Dr. find out what is wrong, but without poking me endlessly with needles, you can subject me to all the radioactive procedures you want, but I refuse to have blood taken. (He's a big baby, but he's also had a bad experience with getting bloodwork done so that is another reason he steers clear of it.) So, to this the Dr. rolls his eyes, and rips up the lab paper that he was writing on and pulls out another one to fill out. Then he asks DH, "If the test results come back that may result in a possible surgery are you going to object to that too?" To this DH responds with "I'm leaving this world with what I came into it with and you're not putting me under or cutting me wit any knife." To this the Dr. shrugs, sighs, and shakes his head. Sometimes I don't get DH. He has a baby now and me (sometimes I wonder if he even thinks about this when it comes to health issues) wouldn't you think that if there were something MAJORLY wrong that he would want to fix it for our sakes. ARGH!!!! That man drives me up the wall. So, please pray it's nothing serious that involves surgery, b/c his stubborn a$$ would rather die than fix it.

Now for *B*..... I've been taking him to his well baby visits, and other Dr. visits that he's need for various reasons religiously. So, the other day he was rubbing his ear like he does his eyes when he's tired, as well as sticking his finger in it, and tugging on it. I took him to the Dr. for this. While we were there the Dr. noticed that his right eye when he focuses on something jumps back and forth. So, she referred us to an opthamologist, and scheduled him for a CT scan. I'm very nervous about the results b/c if it's neurological it could mean possible brain surgery, and I feel terrible.

Here's why: You can pass me the Bad Mother Award right now!!! I've never mentioned this before, but I hope that it's not my fault. When *B* was 5 days old of course I wasn't getting any sleep through the night and DH had to go back to work. Well, *B* was dealing with jaundice, and I was having to get up early each morning to go to the hospital to have his biliruben levels checked. Any way, I was sleeping with him on the couch and I was out of it b/c I was so exhausted. My dogs barked at something they heard outside, and my completely forgetting that *B* was sleeping on my chest jumped up off the couch and he fell to the floor. I called the pedi. and took him in and she checked him out and pretty much said he was fine and everything was all clear. He didn't fall from a high distance, and he fell on carpet that is well padded underneath. I think I cried harder and more than he did when it happened. Since then there hadn't been any problems with his eyes and focusing issues. Well, that was incident #1.

Fast forward to right before Thanksgiving and his bought with RSV/RVI and incident #2. I had just gotten home from picking my step-sister up at work and taking her home. I had taken *B* with me of course. Well, he has this thing with arching his back when you put him in or get him out of the car seat. So, I put the carseat on the kitchen counter to get him out of it so I could get off his jacket and give him a bottle b/c he was fussing. He arched his back and reached for his toy that was one solid piece that attached on either side of him on the carrying handle, and this time he didn't let go when I scoped him up. The car seat tipped over and he flopped out of my arms to the tile floor landing on the right side of his head. It knocked him out for like 20sec. He woke and screamed. I called the squad and he was rushed to the ER, screaming the whole way. At that time they did x-rays, a CT scan, and kept him for a few hours for observation. The results came back with no cranial pressure, no bleeding or swelling of the brain, and no cracks. By the time they released us in fact he was happy and giggly and acting normal. Since then though little by little I've noticed certain things that aren't right for a child of his age. One being the eyes of course. Others being a heightend startle reflux, and the fact that he rubs his head ALOT on the right side, as well as that is the ear that always seems to bother him. I didn't really shrug them off, but when at the pedi. I never really addressed them with her. She finally brought them up to me, and so I told her the things I noticed and when I started noticing them. Now she's worried that he may have a head related problem from the injury. So, he has to undergo a few tests to see what the problem is. His appt. with the opthamologist is Monday, as well as his CT scan.

Just pray it is nothing serious that may involve brain surgery or any surgery for that matter. I want my baby to be alright, and I'm very scared. I'll keep you updated on the situation. Thanks in advance.

I'm nervous about the

Teething

The whole process is just horrible. Why can't babies be born with teeth??? I'm telling you if babies went through this while in the womb, there would be alot more mothers with alot less gray hair that aren't so stressed out. Currently *B* has three little white teeth buds that are all about to errupt through the gums any day. He is so cranky with this process, and I'm assuming that is why he hasn't been sleeping either. Well, that and he has HUGE seperation anxiety issues.

So, I've tried everything under the sun that I could think of to help soothe his sore gums. Finally tonite I broke down and tried the infamous "Sugar Tit". OMG!!! It does work!!! He chewed and chewed on that cold wash rag with the ice chips and sugar in it, until he was so tired his little eyes were rolling back in his head. So, I figured he would probably take a bottle at this point. I gave him one he ate it, and has been asleep since 10pm!!! (Knock on wood that he stays that way.) HUGE improvement from the night before at 2:30am, and all this past week at midnight or after. I just wish that those stupid teeth would come in already, or better yet not all at once.

So, with it being a reasonable hour and me being exhausted, and I KNOW he's sleeping soundly ( a slight snore going on) I'm headed to bed to catch up a little bit of sleep that I've been missing. Pray those teeth break through rather quickly. THANKS!!!

STUPID STUPID Doctor

ARGH!!! So, I went to visit the GYN, and he had the vampires draw 6 vials for the cause of the visit. I had my TSH, Prolactin, FBS, Progesterone, HcG, and something else all tested. As well as peeing in a cup so they could see the same BFN I was seeing. Any way, back in October (I believe it was) my family Dr. took me off my synthroid for my hypothyroidism saying I now had hyperthyroidism b/c your levels are to be between .5 and 5.5 and mine came back .019 well below average. So, around that time AF stopped. No surprise to me though, b/c I don't think he let my hormones post-baby go back to normal. Any way, SURPRISE SURPRISE my thyroid is majorly out of whack now. It was 89.26.....EEEKKKKKK!!!! So, my GYN calls lets me know this is aggitated with my family Dr. and says he'll call him and fax over my test results. To this I get a snotty ass nurse calling me saying that they received a phone call from my GYN and the labs and Fam. Dr. wants to put me back on synthroid my dosage pre-pregnancy, oh and what was it again. Ummm HELLO!!! Am I the ONLY one who sees a problem with this??? Guess not since everything I'm supposed to let slide since my original Fam. Dr. left the practice and this new one has NO FREAKING CLUE!!! Just look at my damned file, isn't that what YOU get paid to do???

I had to tell her. So, I'm back to having hypothroidism, back on the synthroid dosage of 100mcg and back to inducing AF with freaking Provera. Could things get any worse??? Hopefully my body will bounce back respectfully and quickly so TTC#2 can get under way after the first of the year. Wish me luck?!?!

Update of Sorts

*B* is FINALLY getting over his cold. He still sounds stuffy, but I would rather take stuffiness over snottiness any day. He gets his shots later today unfortunately, so he'll be thrown for a loop yet again, poor little guy. For some reason loud noises have been bothering him again. Before I know he had an ear infection, but alas he's finished his meds for it and while on his meds this wasn't an issue. It is again. So, I'm going to have his ears checked again today to see if he still has the infection in them. I just want my little guy to be healthy for a change, but I'm not holding my breath on any miracles with cold and flu season here and the temps going all whacky each day and night.

As for me well oral surgery went well. Unfortunately I now have dry socket that I'm dealing with. I was having tremendous pain still a week after the surgery. So I called the office where I got it done and they had me come in. Now, remember how I said I had a piece of mac and cheese stuck in my socket that got lodged there the day of my surgery? Well, it was there for 5 days before it finally came out. B/c of this I either lost my blood clot too soon or as I suspect it never formed, thus leaving me with dry socket. Can I just say that dry socket hurts like a bitch??? Well, it does!!! So, I've been having to drive 40miles to and from the office 3 times a week to have my socket cleaned and packed with medicated gauze in order to get over this. Which leads me to my gripe about the cost of gas and this trip...ARGH a financial strain on our wallet with Christmas coming for sure!! Not to mention that this procedure each time feels oh so good (hence the sarcasm). And with no pain meds left well yeah, OWWWWWW!!!! Otherwise I'm doing well.

I have more to whine, bitch, and complain about, but for right now it's 3am I have to get up early, I've got my millionth wind of the day and I still have bottles to wash, sterilize, and make............so I'm off to do all that and hopefully wind down before *B*'s 8am wake up call. NITE!!

Oral Surgery

I had to have my wisdom teeth surgically removed on Nov.1st. It was simply dreadful. Upon waking I bawled like a little baby wanting my husband. I did however have some good dreams about *B* while I was out. Can't remember what they were, but I remember telling the nurse who woke me that I was dreaming about my baby. I'm doing alright now, but I was having alot of pain on the left side and I thought that I was getting or already had dry socket, here it was a piece of macaroni and cheese stuck in the hole from the night after sugery when I ate it. I've been brushing my teeth and rinsing with warm salt water, but it never came out. I finally got the nerve to look in there today b/c I had a weird taste coming from that side of my mouth and I thought it was infection and I saw that. I got out the tweezers and got it out. My goodness does it ever feel better now. Hopefully that hole will start closing up and healing since the other two have already started to do so. Unfortunately though since that food was in there I do have a little infection. I'm taking anti-biotics or the next 5days still so hopefully that will make it go away and won't warrant another office visit. It's been hard that is for sure, but I'm healing. Now only if *B* would stop head butting on either cheek things would be a whole lot better.

OUCH!!!

Sometime during last night's theatrics with *B* I majorly hurt my back, neck, and right shoulder. My neck is stiff, and around my right shoulder blade is swollen horribly. This makes taking care of *B* very difficult. Everytime I try to pick him up, a horrible shooting pain goes from my neck around my shoulder blade and down to my finger tips. A couple of times my arm has even went numb and I feared I would drop him. I'm going to have to have to see the Dr. tomorrow about it and hopefully he'll give me somethign for the pain and figure out what the problem is and fix it.

It's horrible being like this b/c DH doesn't have any more time off that he can take this year, and I don't trust myself being with *B* like this. Maybe I can get a family member to help me out, but I'm not holding my breath on that one either. Goodness I just pray to feel better. Now I'm off to soak in a warm tub since *B* is in bed and then apply muscle rub and to bed with me. Pray that a nights rest helps would ya?? Thanks!!!