Friday, December 31, 2010

Year in Review

2010 has been a rollercoaster ride that I don't ever want to do over again honestly. Here is a short list of my most memorable (or want to forget) moments. What are some of your's?

In January, I slipped and fell in mud & broke my wrist where my thumb joins at. I sported a hot pink cast for 6wks. Then I had to do physical therapy in order to be able to write correctly again as well as other things.

In April, we were blessed to find out that we were pregnant again. Only a to have another miscarriage just a couple short weeks later. My numbers never did rise but continued to fall from the very first beta. My EDD would of been today... NYE. This left me very depressed for quite some time.

In July, my Monster turned 3!! And H*attie was dropped off at our house on *B*'s b-day homeless, so DH took her & all her drama in. I also became an Auntie again in July to my newest niece Co*ra-Ly*nn.

In August, I turned 27. I know I'm not that old, but sometimes I damn sure feel like it.

In September, I enrolled in online college classes to get my Associate's degree in Medical Administration. Days later I found out that my husband was cheating on me with a girl that lived down the street while I had been trying to complete the Love Dare to help our marriage. He'd been messing around with her since the day after my birthday which was a complete low blow to me. September continued to be a hard month for us, as well as October. We were fighting alot and divorce was brought up many times. But, we kept chugging along and enrolled in the help of a counselor to help eliviate some of the issues.

October 4th, I started my classes but with the other marital issues going on even wanting to stay in class and do the work was a constant struggle. October, also brought a huge blow-up in this house between me and H*attie to the point that I had had enough and kicked her out. At which point DH's older sister became involved b/c that is where H*attie chose to go live. The older sister and her DH started a bunch of drama between DH and I, and at which point I made DH choose between *B* and me or his sisters. Thankfully he chose us. October also brought happiness and sadness all in one package... my sister came home to OH from KY for the last time in the next 4yrs, as her DH was PCS'd to a new duty station in WA.

December, has brought us joy once again with finding out that we are expecting #2 after a night of spontaneous sex when DH came home at 3am on his lunch break back at the end of November. LOL! Also, December has brought me to bedrest again with a pregnancy... but well worth it. December also brings back the pain of losing our pregnancy in April knowing that my due date would of just been today. December also has allowed DH's love affair with the girl that used to live down the street creep back into our lives. Sad but unfortunately true. I wish she would leave him alone, and he could forget about her but unless we relocate (which is highly unlikely) I doubt it will happen. I just hope for the sake of this baby and our marriage that he continues to do what is right.

I'm looking forward to 2011 and the new life we'll be bringing into the world in August if everything goes right. I'm just hoping that it's all peace and blessings for us as well as all of you for 2011, b/c Lord knows I won't be able to handle another year of hurt on the rollercoaster of life.

Happy New Year!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Welcome ICLW and Other Stuff!!

Hello IComLeavWe'ers and anyone else that has came across my blog!! Welcome... My name is Catrisha and I've been blogging (not just here at this blog, but here as well) for 6yrs. I'm married to my loving DH, and we have one child. A three year old blonde haired blue-eyed ball of energy. He's referred to around these parts as *B* or The Monster. We just recently found out that we're pregnant for #2. This was a complete surprise to us, as we weren't trying and we were focusing on our marriage as it had developed some bumps and bruises these past few months. (All of these things you can find in five or so entries prior to this one.) If you're looking for more history on our infertility struggle, look no farther b/c it can be found here.

Any way, in other news I am 5-7wks pregnant. It was originally thought based on my LMP that I was 8 or so weeks along. After my Dr.'s appt this past Friday that was found to be otherwise. I'm nervous of course, b/c this is when I've always m/c-ed. So, due to that fact I'm on bed rest, and I'm on PIO shots once weekly, and progesterone suppositories daily. It's a nasty way to ensure pregnancy, but one I would do a million times over so that I can have the chance to make it to term with a healthy baby. I get another shot on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, and then I have another u/s the first week of the New Year.

In other news... *B* and I have strep throat. YUCK! I know. A really crappy time to get it being so close to Christmas and all. I'm hoping we're on the mend before Christmas Eve, b/c we are hosting the holiday here at our house for the first time ever. I'm really excited to do this even with all the other circumstances going on. I know that it's going to be alot of work for DH, but he'll manage. Is that mean of me? I hope not. LOL!

Speaking of Christmas, I'm so excited for it this year.*B* is all into Christmas, and Santa, and the reindeer, and even giving and receiving presents this year. I know that that isn't what this holiday is all about, but for a three year old... my three year old that's what it's all about for him when he doesn't know what Jesus and God is all about. Before I get criticism on this, save your time b/c I don't care. He's very smart yes, and I'm sure if I were to explain it to him he would understand but I haven't and I don't plan on it. I believe in God to an extent. I pray as well. But the truth of it all is I don't have a good relationship with Him. Infertility has robbed that from me, along with robbing me of many other things. Maybe one day I'll get on that level again, and I hope to but that day is not today. I'll tell my child about Him as well, but again that time is not now. So instead, I'm excited for Christmas b/c my child is excited for Santa and everything that goes with it. And, for me that is the hugest thrill in the world... so we're counting down the days.

Lastly, thank you for stopping by. Sorry if I seem hormonal, b/c let's face it I am. Sorry if I've come off as controversial for you, b/c let's face it I am that too. But, if you've made it this far I encourage you to please stick around b/c I'm not always this way. Become a follower of my blog, and I'll do the same to your blog... just let me know in your comment that you're now following and leave me the link to your blog. Otherwise hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings and Have a Happy Holiday!! :)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Telling My DH & First OB Appt.

First and foremost I would like to thank each of you for the Congrats, well wishes, thoughts, and prayers on my announcement in the last post. Ya'll truly know how to make an already emotional girl happy and sappy all at the same time. :) You, my Dreamers, are why I continue to write.

So, as promised I'm going to tell ya'll how I told my DH about our AMAZING news. On the night of Thursday, December 9th while my DH was at work I decided to take a test. AF was well overdue, but I had tested twice before in the the last week to week and a half and gotten BFNs so I figured this test would be another one of the same. Much to my surprise a very faint BFP showed up. I was home alone with just me and the Monster. I wanted to call or text DH to tell him the exciting news, but I only had that one test and it didn't give me much certainty. So, the next morning my first order of business after our normal routine was to head out to buy me some more pregnancy tests. I bought another box of FRER and a box of EPT Digital read out. I came home and when I had to be took one of the EPTs. Waiting for that little hour glass to turn into a read-out of "Pregnant" seemed like an eternity. Finally the 3 minute wait time was up, and there on the test stick appeared that glorious word I was waiting to see.Since I knew the night before I had asked DH if I had a time sensitive gift for him to open for Christmas if he would open it early. He told me he would, so I took the test and wrapped it in Christmas wrapping paper. I got out a small clothing gift box and tissue paper. I had gotten him a Christmas card when I bought the tests, and I wrote on the inside of it:

"I couldn't think of a better time sensitive present to give you as an early
Christmas present than this one. Looks like we did do it right again. Merry
Christmas. I love you!!"

I placed the card in the gift box in the tissue paper with the wrapped test on top of it, and put it under the tree. I waited until he got up that afternoon (he works midnights) and told him his time sensitive gift was under the tree and he needed to open it. He sat down on the chair and had *B* help him open the box. He pulled out the card and read it, then looked at me strange. Then he unwrapped the test at the end where the cap was, and I saw his eyes light up. He asked me if this was for real. I told him to keep unwrapping. He unwrapped the entire test then looked at me, and asked, "Seriously?" I told him yes seriously. He looked at *B* and said, "Guess what?!?! Mommy's got a little baby in her belly." Then he showed him the test.He had the biggest smile on his face. He got up and gave me a huge hug and kiss, and told me I was right about this gift.... plus it's the best gift he could ever ask for. Since then I took a test everyday until I ran out, including another digital test on the 13th.

* * * * * * * * * *

As most of you commented in my last post about how my dates may not match up due to when I took the test and the lightness of them, you were right. I had stated my EDD based on my LMP, but I'm a 35-45 day cycler. I had thought that I had ovulated around Thanksgiving, but I wasn't very for sure b/c I wasn't charting or monitoring. Any way, after my OB appt yesterday it was confirmed that I'm between 5-6wks (probably closer to 5wks). No baby was seen in my u/s, just the gestational sac and a little blip in the sac that the Dr called the yolk. Which I'm assuming is the baby? I've never had an u/s this early so I don't really know. My BP was 138/82, so I have to go back on BP meds since I had pre-e that developed into toxemia while I was pregnant with *B*.

I went over all my patient history (I'm seeing a new Dr. than I did before). He did the dreaded pap, and then the u/s. After the u/s when he realized I wasn't as far as what was thought, he told me he wished he had done the u/s first b/c then he wouldn't of done the pap. He was quite concerned about my recurring m/c's that I have that are early in gestation (3.5-6wks). So, he had the three of us go into his office after I cleaned myself up and got dressed and discussed this with us. He put me on PIO (progesterone in oil) shots that I have to go to his office to get once a week. I also have to do progesterone suppositories nightly, which I'm already hating b/c they are messy and gross. And, I'm on bedrest again with this pregnancy already. There was nothing wrong that he saw in the u/s, but he's just having me do all this as a precaution. He wants me to stay pregnant... good thing him and I want the same thing, which is a far cry from how my last Dr. acted like he wanted.

I've been having some brown discharge since my appt. that has actually let up now. And, my hip is extremely sore and bruised from my first shot. And, I'm sick of bedrest and I'm only 24hrs into it. But, it's all worth it. Next appt. is Christmas Eve for another shot. Not sure when my next u/s is, but I assume in 2-4wks. I'm glad I found this Dr. b/c he really cares about my health instead of money and what my insurance will pay and what I'm paying and when, which thrills me.

But, that being said I'll keep ya'll updated... and I promise not to stay away so long. I really missed writing these past few months while I was trying to manage everything. Thanks for still being here when I came back to it. :)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Updates, Updates, Updates... And AMAZING News!!

Hey Dreamers! It's been forever since I've actually posted. I really need to catch you all up on the happenings here in the land of Baby Dreams. Where to start? Hmmm....

Well, we'll start with how H*attie left. She lived here as you all know. We were trying to help her out, but you can only help someone as much as they wish to helped plus when they are ungrateful for every last ounce of help you give them it gets old really fast. Any way, in the last month that she was here which was clear back in Sept./Oct. she got herself a job. DH and I were really proud of her for doing so, but having an extra mouth to feed whom wasn't pulling her weight around here and was causing nothing but drama was taking it's toll on us. The beginning of Oct. rolled around and she got fired from her job after only being there for a month. We told her that she was going to have to take her last check and help out around here. She did, but come a week after the first she was staying with DH's older sister and causing problems between us and them. I had had enough of her crap, so finally I told her she could get out through text message that I didn't need the drama. Of course that started a whole other mess of problems with SIL & BIL being jerks like always. Needless to say, she's gone and out of our hair but in the process DH ended up wiping his hands of his sisters and wants nothing more to do with them.

With the drama that H*attie brought on and the issues that were already going on in my marriage with DH talking to and texting other girls prior to this, my marriage took a weird turn. We fought alot about the unfaithfulness, but our focus turned to fighting about H*attie and the crap that was being stirred up there. I tried hard to focus on fixing things, but there was a part of me that just wanted to throw in the towel and be done with it all. However, I stayed and I pushed on looking for sunshine in a broken relationship through the gray skies. Finally, toward the end of Oct. DH and I were in a better place, and we were able to communicate with one another again without yelling or in my case crying. Presently our relationship is the best that it has been in a long time. A. VERY. LONG. TIME.

Updates on me.... I just finished my first quarter of college towards my Associate's degree in Medical Administration. It was a long tough 11wks, but I'm proud to say I survive it. That is one of the reasons that I haven't been updating like I used to. I so very little time for myself that the last thing I want to do is spend it on the computer for a few moments more to update. I really need to though even if it's just a few lines here and there, b/c then I won't play catch up so much. I start back on Jan. 3rd, and while I'm looking forward to it... I'm dreading it a little too, b/c I know this coming quarter will be alot tougher than the last.

Let's see... updates on the Monster... he's getting so big and he's so rotten. Last weekend we went to the local mall so he could sit on Santa's lap when he was done he got interviewed by a staff member of a local newspaper so that he could tell them what he (Stinky the Garbage Truck), Mommy (watch the video), and Daddy (nothing, b/c that's what Daddy said) wanted for Christmas. They cut a bunch of the actual footage off, but here is what is left:

If you couldn't tell from the video what my Christmas wish is from what *B* said, here's a hint:

My LMP was the last one that I recorded on here which was 10/27/10. My EDD is 8/3/11. I'm a little over 8wks based on my LMP. My first ultrasound is later today. I'll post about how that goes in my next post, and about how I told DH which was really cute. But for now, I'm off to bed. G'nite ya'll and babydust or belly rubs all around.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Technical Difficulties

**UPDATE: As you can see all the technical difficulties have been resolved.**

If you've stopped here to read my story you're more than welcome to, in fact I encourage you to. However, I'm having some issues with my Webs acct that I use for my fonts, and I'm sorry that all sidebar and post headings are so dark that you can't read them. I'll have this fixed ASAP. In the meantime, look around and enjoy. I'll be back with a better post on the happenings around the land of Baby Dreams and a solution to this problem within 24hrs. Stay tuned....