Thursday, December 31, 2009

Looking Back On 2009

With 2009 about to be at an end in a few hours here on the east coast, I thought before the family and I headed out the door to my Aunt Ju*lia's for good food, board games, pool, and watching the ball drop that I would reflect back on 2009. This year has been on of turmoil, chaos, growing, changing, adapting and grief for me on a whole. Coming into the year I had such high hopes to lose weight, conceieve #2, make more time for myself, and many other things. Overall I accomplished slim to none of the things that I set forth for myself, but I did have some huge changes, life altering events, I walked a familar traveled before path, and had that all to familiar heartache, as well as new found joy and remarkable relief.
In rewind, my year started off parenting two boys. My own handsome little man *B*, and my nephew *H* whose parents can be summed up as being called twits to put it nicely. This was a rewarding experience, but mostly definitely got my maternal wheels a turning and longing for #2. Then there was finding the unusally large cyst on my ovary that could of halted all chances of TTC until the later half of this year, but thankfully enough for me and *B* being horribly sick and medical technology no surgery was done b/c the cyst reduced in size on it's own. After that was a huge life changing event when we moved into our very first home that we're buying. I love this place and it's a great starter home that so far (knock on wood) hasn't needed any fixing up. Fast forward to *B*'s 2nd birthday bash and my sister coming home from KY all in the middle of summer while stabbing and jabbing myself with needles and popping pills in the hopes of seeing that BFP that so far has never happened. Then there was *B*'s first set of stitches and with him being all boy, I'm sure not his last set of stitches. I quit seeing my current reproductive Dr. and bounced around trying to find my place in this modern medicine world for awhile, all while having my fair share of breakdowns, meltdowns, and tantrums. I was deceived by more family members than I care to count, I had more fights with DH than I care to mention, I lost my patience with *B* more times than I can remember. But, nothing was as big in 2009 as my breast cancer scare when I found the lump on my boob with the lactating to accompany it. Needless to say that after some testing the diagnosis for that was Intraductal Papilloma/Papillomatosis, but it still scared the bejesus out of me, and I shed more tears than I ever want to in my life again.
This year was one twisted rollercoaster ride, and while it was fun while it lasted I don't want to experience it again if I can help it. I also want to say "See ya 2009, don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya on the way out!!" I'm looking forward to 2010 and all the new possibilities and high hopes that it will potentially hold for me. And, rather than making a resolution just so that I can break it like I did this year (oops... LOL) I am just going to let whatever happens in 2010 happen and life to tell the tale (God willing) at the end of it like I have done at the end of this year. Happy New Year Everyone!!
And last but not least I want to say Happy Birthday to my Dad, since today is his birthday. Love you old man... LOL! xoxo

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