Job Refusal

While the job sounded very exciting and very tempting for other reasons than the following, unfortunately it didn't offer adequate pay for the drive (92miles one way), the in-house child care program sucked ($250 a week with a 30% employee discount) and paying a friend or family member wasn't going to be all that bad, the pay still wasn't enough. After taxes paying for the cost of gas at it hovering at $4 a gallon and paying for child care (not at the daycare) I estimate to only bring home around or under $100 a week (probably the latter) which honestly isn't worth my time or the drive. We are doing fine now with only one income, it was just needing that break daily from *B* that perked my interest in the position, and having extra money for the holiday I dread that starts with a "C" that is looming closer and closer, and paying off some credit card debts. No fear though I guess we'll stick to the mundane and keep on pedalling along as we have been. Secretly I loving being a SAHM, and would rather do this job any old day any way. (wink, wink.) So, I declined the position graciously and I'm back to being a SAHM.

Job Interview Friday

After not working again for almost 2yrs I've decided to jump back into the work force. I have a job interview Friday at a daycare/child learning center. I'm very excited about it, and the position sounded promising. Plus, the woman/owner talked as though I pretty much had the job already based on my qualifications and experience with caring for others. This is something that I want to do and I'm looking forward to it. Plus, it may help *B* with his seperation anxiety. Speaking of that it's horrible DH nor I can leave his side without a total meltdown ensuing. It's getting bad. So, hopefully with him having to be at the sitter's throughout the day while I'm working will help him to adjust to this stage that he's in and overcome it a bit better I can only pray.

Any way, I'm looking forward to starting working again and I just thought that I would let you all know. I'll keep you posted on how things go.

No AF + Call To My OB/GYN + Bloodwork =

STUPID TYHROID!!!!

Argh!!! I figured as much, but of course I wanted to hold out hope that the Dollar Store test was just wrong. Unfortunately I have to go up on my dosage of synthroid AGAIN. (This makes like the umpteenth time sine I found out I have hypothyroidism.) I can't win for losing. I just wish my body would cooperate with my heart and mind in the baby making department. Now that my baby is no longer a baby per sae (he's still my baby just more toddlerish than baby now) I really want another baby so bad I can taste it. I guess I should be patient b/c all things happen for a reason, maybe it's just not the right season for it's happening. Any way, I'm going to put full effort into my weight loss and hopefully be down to my pre-pregnancy weight before I had *B* by the end of next month (fingers crossed that it'll happen) for my annual exam. Then my game plan at that time is to unfortunately hop back on the fertility treatment bandwagon. Hope aside, I pray it doesn't take me almost 6yrs to conceive #2 like it took me to conceive #1.

To Test or Not To Test....

that is the question??? ARGH!! So, I've been documenting AF in this blog regularly, as I also write it on my calendar. So, I got o looking back and the last trace of the witch was back in May sometime. I know I didn't have AF in June, but I chalk that up to these damned kidney stones (two still to pass). Of course I had bloodwork done when I went to the ER for the excruciating pain that went along with kidney stones, and that beta was a BFN in mid-June. My cycles have been so messed up since the chemical pregnancy and the methotrexate shot that I'm not surprised AF is in absence. But, for the record her not coming AT ALL since May is bothersome to me. I hold out hope that maybe just possibly I might be, but then again I have better things to spend my money on than a pregnancy test that is going to be yet another BFN notch to the bedpost. So, I debate and I wonder which hand or curiosity will weigh out???

My game plan....to hold out on testing for as long as I have the willpower to do so or until AF "possibly" makes her nasty arrival. I just dread another BFN, b/c then that warrants a call to the OB/GYN and a script of nasty provera or prometrium. Send esome BFP and babydust vibes this way, b/c even though we weren't trying another miracle surprise would be nice.

Edited to say: My willpower didn't last that long, and I had to go to the Dollar Store to pick up a couple things any way so I bought a test, and tested......just as I thought.....BFN.....boo-hiss. Looks like I'll be calling the Dr. tomorrow. :(

Tying Up Loose Ends (Updates on Things)

Alright so I've wrote about a few things in previous entries that I really should bring you all up to speed on. First of all though.....I want to say there is two other entries before this one with pics of the little monster so check those out.

So here is the hype on what has been going on here. I've passed one kidney stone finally, and it hurt like hell. I still have 2 more to pass, but they are starting to break apart and shrink in size....YAYYY!!! On TTC#2 aspects, we've decided to wait until my annual exam next month before we jump into that train wreck again. I'm not looking forward to it, but if we want another I know it has to be done. Currently I'm on a weight-loss venture. I'm toying around at 220lbs right now give or take, which is a huge improvement from the 242lbs that I was back in March. So, some improvement, but I know I need more in order to get a BFP and sustain a successful pregnancy. So, we'll see what next month brings weight-wise and TTC-wise.

DH was just on vacation this past week, and I loved every minute of him being home. He spent so much time with *B* and they bonded alot. So, much so that when DH went back to work tonite *B* bawled at the door for a good 10min until I picked him up then another 30min or so in my arms. Breaks my heart, but I'm glad he's a Daddy's boy too. DH is doing good, working alot which is good for catching up and clearing up our debt. Bad for him b/c it's so hot and he works in a factory and is exhausted by the time he gets home. Otherwise he's good too.

I think I made mention of Hattie being pregnant again. A couple months back she was pregnant and made it to about 20wks and had a little boy prematurely. He didn't make it of course, b/c it was way to early. She had him b/c she acquired an infection that sent her into pre-term labor. Any way, she just found about a couple weeks ago that she's pregnant again, and for twins. However she needs prayers. Two sacks were found, but only one heart beat. She's had some spotting but nothing serious. She's on bedrest, but scared to death of losing another baby. She goes back to the Dr. this Thurs. for more bloodwork and another u/s to see what is to become of Baby#2. I feel really bad for her b/c she is already beside herself with grief over all of this and losing Hunter as well. So, if you have a moment send up a prayer for her, we would appreciate it.

Let's see at the beginning of June we took a four day weekend trip to KY to see my sister, pick up our pup, and attend my sister's baby shower.

Cousin C*ourtney and *B*:

DH posing infront of a chopper on base in KY:

Any way, I'm an aunt again now. She had little B*rylei A*nn on June 27th. She weighed in at 6lbs12oz and 20 1/2in long. She's so tiny, but definitely a cutie and a keeper.

All of my sister's kids (step and full):

I'm still waiting on my step-brother's fiancee to have their little girl. She's due in 20 days. Plus, I found out that my step-sister that is only 6months younger than me is expecting now too. She's due on Jan.22, 2009. I'm excited for her as well.

I think that is about it on the home front. Things are going really well here. I don't have much time for updating as I'm constantly running after and playing with *B*. Plus, we've just been enjoying fun times in the sun outside here at the house or at the pool. Hopefully, now that I'm caught up on things I'll stay that way. Hope that all of you are enjoying Summer'08 as well!!!

Happy 4th of July!!

Not really much to say, except I hope everyone had a Happy 4th of July. We went to two seperate cookouts, watched the fireworks (which *B* is totally not afraid of), and then let off some of our own fireworks and did sparklers. All in all it was a great day.

Happy First Birthday Little Man!!!

PICS BELOW!!!

I can't believe that one year ago today I gave birth to you. You made all my dreams realities. My struggles with infertility ended and it was the happiest day of my life, and by far the first day to the beginning of new resposibilities. I couldn't of asked for a happier more pleasant baby, or a better miracle each day in the making. I love with all my heart, mind, body, and soul. You're growing way to fast, and I don't want to ever forget a moment. There are still times when I wish that I could shrink wrap you at this age, but I know I must let go of the shoe strings and let you grow up and thrive. And, of course that is what you are doing with this milestone today.

You are doing so many new things. It was like you woke up today, and decided I'm no longer a baby, and so all these new toddler traits are coming out in you. You decided today was the end of two naps a day. (Not my most favorite NEW thing that you are doing, but I'll survive.) You've started saying "uppy" (for your cuppy), and "choo-choo" for the trains that pass our house numerous times a day (gotta love living near RR tracks). You had been half crawling/half walking until today, and thus upon waking you decided crawling wasn't becoming of you anymore, and you're fully moblie on your feet now. About a week or so before today you broke yourself of a bottle during your little cold you had, and you formula broke yourself as well.

We celebrated your first birthday this past Saturday. You skipped your morning nap (the one that you've been skipping) so by the time 1pm came around you were exhausted and fell asleep at the beginning of the festivities. It didn't take you long to wake up though, and then you were set for the party. We all ate, the kids played games, you dove head first into your cake, and then you tried to open presents. There were lots of family members and friends there and I know at the end of the day you had a good time, b/c you were exhausted and slept very well that night. Some of your favorite gifts are your little push to go 4-wheeler and your pool.

I still can't believe that you're now a year old. So many memories I have from your first year, that I know you won't remember but I'll tell you about when you're older. I love you more than words could ever express, and again my dear sweet boy....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

One year ago today:

Diving into your smash cake at your party:

On your 4-wheeler:

You in your froggy pool (another present):