This weekend was no better than the following week or weekend for that matter. DH and I fought ALOT. He has a tendency to get on my nerves more while AF is around, or maybe it's just that I notice his obnoxiousness more during that time....who knows. Any way, it was pointed out by him that I'm psycho. Imagine that. I'm sleep deprived, have no help around here, no time to myself, and a 7 month old who is in his clingy attached to Mama's hip stage, and I'm PSYCHO!!!! Whatever!!! Any way, I must admit that I think I need to be back on my anti-depressants or some equivelent to them. My nerves are shot. I thought that I was doing good without the happy pills, but turns out....not so much. I'm not depressed though that's the thing, it's more just my nerves and lack of patience at the moment. But I find me scaring myself with my comments and actions, and that bothers me. I'm at my breaking point there is no doubt about that. So, I'm calling a Dr. (note to self: must find a new Dr. that I like first) and going to get this taken care of ASAP. Also, I am going to have to find it deep within myself to get along with DH until then. It is going to be a struggle of course, but I (we) can't go on like this, being at each other's throats and what-not.
In other news....I've started dieting. I'm doing rather well in eating healthy, I just have to fit excercise in there somewhere. Before *B* I was so conscious of my eating habits. While pregnant with him, I let that all go down the drain. I mean I ate healthy don't get me wrong, but after a healthy meal or snack, I would scavenge the pantry or fridge for something equally unhealthy. Since *B* has came along, I guess I'm still in that mode of things. I don't do it at much as I did while pregnant with him, but I still catch myself doing it occasionally. So, on what the nation should declare as "The Men's Holiday" (aka: Super Bowl Sunday) I put out all the junk food that was in the house for the party that we had. What didn't get ate went to the garbage can afterwards (which wasn't very much). Now, with day one in the books...I sit here craving chocolate like crazy, but doing well. I ate well today which is a HUGE accomplishment on my part. My plan is to do this week with cutting out all the junk, making sure I eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day that are healthy, and try to fit in excercise if I can. Next week, my plan is to eat the same of course, but DEFINITELY get in at least 3 workouts within the week. I have faith in myself that I can do, it's just going to be hard. I once read that it takes 21 days to develop a bad habit, and then 42 days to break it, so I'm not expecting the change over night, but I have to stay strong if I'm going to do this.
So, starting yesterday (if DH and I are still on the same page come then) there is T-minus 57 days and counting until I'm scheduled to go back to the rude Dr., and for me to get some of this weight off so that if (and that's a big IF) things are better we will resume TTC#2 then. At present time in the state that things are in TTC#2 is the least of my worries, so I'm not holding my breath for that, but I am in the weightloss dept. Wish me luck!!