Metformin Hell

Here I am back again in the beginning stages of Metformin hell. I hate with the greatest of passions taking this medicine for my PCOS. But if it helped with the conception of *B*, I know it'll help for our TTC#2 attempts so I take it regardless. For the longest time though I hadn't been taking any. Simply b/c I hadn't been into a Dr. (RE) that I saw eye to eye (re: clicked with)with to get on the meds and get back into treatments after my last script of it ran out. Then I saw my family Dr. I discussed with him my want need to be back on this medicine while I wait to get into an RE of my liking. With much persuasion on my part and some testing to make sure I wasn't completely off my rocker, he agreed. I'm on 850mgs twice daily and I hate it!! (Not sure how I ever took 1000mgs twice a day before?!?!) I have all the side effects that I had when I started it before back in 2004. My stomach is an awful mess, and I'm only on day #3. I know it gets easier to take, but for the life of me at this point I can't remember and I feel like I'm dying. *sigh* The only things getting me through this is the fact that I know Metformin gives me the extra little perk of weight loss (woot, woot) and that I'm hoping to eventually see another BFP that will result in baby #2. Wish me luck, b/c I could definitely quit taking it again and it not bother me in the slightest at this point. Ugh! Hope ya'll are having a better weekend than me.

I Won A Blogging Award!!

Technically I won it awhile back ago. Like before the New Year, but with everything that was going on with me health wise with my leaky lumpy boob (Intraductal Papilloma) and all I never went back and seen how it was I went about earning it, and all that jazz. So tonite I went and checked up on it. So without further ado, here is my first award:
But I have to work for it and so will you!! I have to list 10 Things That Make My Day and then list 10 Blogs worthy of this award as well, and then you'll have the award and they'll have the award too. Don't forget you'll have to do the same... list 10 Things and 10 Blogs to earn the award (then of course copy the pic of the award to your computer and paste/upload the award pic to your own blog post saying that you received this award with your 10 and 10). Sounds confusing but not really and leave me a comment if you are confused I'll help you. Here goes...

10 Things That Make My Day

1. When *B* comes into my room and climbs in bed with me and/or DH (when he's not working) in the middle of the night and says "Mommy, Daddy, you warm, nuggle me."
2. When DH kisses me when leaving for work and his lips linger a little longer than the normal.
3. When DH comes in from work in the morning, climbs in bed with me and *B* and kisses me and says "Good Morning, Beautiful."
4. When *B* hears any type of music and shakes his butt then drops it like it's hot.
5. When DH manages to hit the laundry hamper with all of his dirty clothes he takes off.
6. When *B* uses the potty every single time during the day.
7. Being able to get a shower without the curtain being pulled open, the toilet being flushed, or *B* hopping in to join me.
8. When DH offers to cook dinner after I've had a stressful day with *B*.
9. Being able to sit and check my e-mail, FB, Myspace, blogs and message boards all at one time without interruption (which rarely happens, but has before and definitely makes my day).
10. Hearing *B* giggling for hours b/c he's amused, content, being tickled, or played with..... b/c let's face it his laugh is captivating.

Now 10 Blogs/Bloggers Deserving of This Award:

1. The Averitt Fam
2. Her Womb, Our Hearts
3. Baby, Interrupted
4. Journey Through Infertility And TTC
5. I'm Living Proof GOD Has a Sense of Humor
6. Two Shades of Pink
7. The Chickadee Journals
8. His & Her's Infertility
9. The Nyberg's
10. Newly Pregnant in NYC

Mind you I can only list 10, and there are SO many others deserving of this award, however I can only list 10, but please check out my right sidebar for other deserving blog/bloggers and good reads. Happy Thursday Ya'll!!

Creme de la Creme 2009

Have you ever checked out Mel at Stirrup Queen's: Creme de la Creme list. She started this in 2006 and it's become a huge hit. It compiles a list of the best posts from the previous year that YOU from the Adoption/Loss/Infertility blogosphere submit yourself. I submitted my blog entry today to become a part of the list, (I'm not on there yet but in the queue, so keep checking for me if you'd like) and now I challenge YOU my faithful Dreamers to look back on your posts of this past year and if you meet the criteria add yourself to the list as well. There are many ways to get to where you need to be to do this. You can click on Stirrup Queen's above and scroll down on her blog on the right hand side you'll fide the Creme de la Creme list and click there. You can click Creme de la Creme above and it'll take you to the list. You can click HERE and it'll take you to the form for actually submitting your entry. Or click this cute little button that Mel made below. Good Luck and I hope to see you there.

The Best of the Adoption/Loss/Infertility Blogs of 2009

PS: If you do add yourself let me know by leaving me a link in case you're just a blog stalker. Thanks.

Great Giveaway

Are you lacking creativity in the kitchen while baking? Cookies in particular. Have no fear! Jill is hostessing a giveaway over at her blog that will help you out in that area. All you have to do is click ---------------> HERE! for your chance to enter to win. Good Luck!

Emotional Roller Coaster

Tonite has been a difficult night and the emotional roller coaster hasn't came to a stop yet. I have to admit that taking care of an on the mend child with one good arm has posed to be a task in and of itself. I really can't wait until March 4th when I get this hot pink cast off my broken non-surgery needing appendage. My house chores are piling up and I feel like I'm constantly walking through and looking at clutter. I couldn't take it any more tonite and I had a break down on the phone with my little brother's mom. Bless her heart she came and saved the night and helped me out. She washed my dishes for me, bathed *B*, and scrubbed stains out of some clothes so I could throw them in the washer. I feel so helpless at times (you'd be amazed at the things you do that you need 2 thumbs for and what you can't do when one is casted up), and like I'm a burden on others so I don't open my mouth and ask for help. However I'm scared to ask for help at times too, b/c I don't want people to think I'm helpless or incapable when clearly I'm not.... just a little handicapped for the moment. And I fear being told "No!" just as if I were a child or teenager, as funny as that sounds.

While she was here though she got the tears a flowing talking about the past and how my Dad has been and snapped out of and is slowly falling back into a lifestyle I dread. We talked about how DH almost a year ago made me give my dogs away and I felt like I was giving away a piece of my heart and my children, just b/c they "locked up" while the one was in heat. We talked about how my Dad has the one dog, and he lives right next door and I know he doesn't care for him appropriately but how DH refuses to let me have him back. And she even cared enough to sit and listen to my complete infertility battle that she didn't know about, and how we're struggling again and we can't afford to do another injectible cycle for awhile b/c we've tapped out all our savings and have crappy insurance that doesn't cover that part of it (or anything really unless it's diagnostic). It felt good to talk to someone that didn't have a clue about infertility, but listened thee entire time and cared whole heartedly.

But of course she had to leave and go home so I'm left here with a brain full of scramble working overtime. So, here I sit serving up a pity party of one, b/c while DH and I both know our fertility fate and the course of treatment telling another person makes it more real.... and well that makes my heart break. I've just been having a hard time dealing with this and feeling really overwhelmed with the mix of everything else. It doesn't help that I have friends and family having babies #2, 3, 4, etc. Or that I have very few in real life people that have been through what I have been through (scratch that actually.... maybe a fraction of what I've been through) and I don't feel as though I can really connect to them. Trust me I try, but our stories and battles are so different now. Plus I offer support (I've always been a giver) but I feel like now when I need it the most they're not doing the same for me. I realize they each have their own lives no big deal, but seriously is it to much to answer the phone when I call and say I'm busy versus me getting voicemail all the time? Guess so. There is one specifically that I don't want to go into name or much detail about, but I just feel betrayed and lied to and manipulated and put off by her constantly. I guess keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right?

All I know is tonite I long for another child something fierce. *B* talks about wanting Mommy to give him a brother (personally I'd like a sister but healthy is all that matters), and my heart aches. I wish TTC weren't this difficult or such a money suck for us. All I can do is continue to pray that possibly between now and then I either win the lottery to pay for treatments or I'm blessed with a natural conception again. *sigh*

Not My Child Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. And Don't be afraid to join in the fun and add your own Not Me! Monday post.

As most of you know *B* (my little Monster) is sick. He has the cruddy croup. Before his cough came in he was just running a fever and vomiting. The first day he was sick I didn't know it really. He was running a tiny temp, but nothing drastic and I thought it was just his molars. So, we headed out to Wal-Mart. (We were due to get pounded by a snow storm/blizzard and I wanted to be prepared.) I had him in the seat part of the cart and I had my cart full of groceries. I rounded the corner to go in the infant/child section for some nite-time pull-ups when he decides NOT to give me any warning then proceeds to burp and vomit all over the the rack of diapers. Then says "Mommy my belly hurts." Nope. Not My Child!

As if that wasn't bad enough and I wasn't mortified already. He then screams at the top of his lungs "G*d D*mn Pooook!" Making everyone stare even more. (Thanks DH for saying this totally inappropriate phrase.) He's definitely Not My Child! now.

The mess got cleaned up in Wal-Mart and we made it home and 14in of snow and 36hrs of vomiting, on-and-off fever, and a newly developed cough and snot nose later made it to his pediatrician's office. Once there and getting checked out it's like everything is alright, although I knew differently b/c he was still whinning and NOT acting himself. The Dr. orders up some tests that we have to go to the hospital and lab to get done. When we arrive there we get the chest x-ray first, b/c I knew if he got blood drawn first he would NOT sit still for the x-ray. In radiology he proceeds to hack and sneeze all over the place, and when I wasn't paying close enough attention wipe his snot that had run down his lip when sneezing on the x-ray board. "Are you serious he DID NOT just do that?!?!" (Oh it gets better...) When we arrived at the vampire lab after x-ray and the blood suckers were trying to be all cutesy with him saying they were looking for his muscles when looking for a vein and then tied that thing (can't think of the name of it right now) around his arm when they found it and it pinched; he said "Sh*t!" Of course they thought it was cute and had to laugh at him making him say it again. So, when they finally stuck the needle in he screams "SH*T!" and cries. They're NOT laughing now, and he's NOT MY CHILD! b/c I certainly HAVE NOT raised him to act like this.

Oh how I love hate the terrible 2's, and I've heard 3 isn't much better. *sigh* PS: He's still sick, but showing some improvement. At least he's eating now after 5 days of only fluids that he mostly threw-up.

Wordless Wednesday

American Idol and General Larry Platt eat your heart out:



What do ya think? Is *B* "The Next American Idol?" LOL!