Thursday, September 2, 2010

Love Dare- Day 5

Day 5: Ask your spouse to tell you 3 things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritatted with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only. Proverbs 27:14, Proverbs 25:24, Psalm 112:5, Luke 6:31, Ecclesiastes 10:12

Today was a hard day/task for me to complete. I did complete it, but the answers that DH gave me struck my heart right at the core. I simply asked DH to tell me a few things he could think of that make him irritated or uncomfortable by me. His response was almost bitter, and definitely hurtful. I didn't attact him back, and I didn't cry but I do keep thinking about what he said. Not all of them, b/c there was more than 3, but the ones that hurt me the most. He answered by telling me that sometimes being in the same bed with me after he knows that I slept with another man (which was 4yrs ago) and so "easily" put out to the other guy, when I won't have sex with him irritates him about me. I didn't put out to the other guy easily and he has no clue about the circumstances of what happened nor will I ever fully tell him. Maybe I should, but in my heart and mind it's better he doens't know all the details. It was a one time thing and still 4yrs later it's brought up and thrown in my face even though I wasn't the only one cheating at the time.

Then he made mention of my weight making him uncomfortable. Well, it may make him uncomfortable to be seen with me, but saying that and me actually being big makes m uncomfortable myself. I didn't need to be told. I'm working on my weight though now that I've went to the dietitian... but it's only been 2 days.

The other thing that he said that I haven't done is forever, b/c I'm not even focused on was basically asking him for sex on specific days only b/c I thought/think I was O-ing. Ummm hello, we both want another baby that is how you get another baby, he knows this. I just wish he wouldn't complain. I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't.

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