I was continuing the Love Dare up until yesterday when I got online and found that DH and this girl that lives at the end of our blog had been talking and texting each other. I had days 9 & 10 to write about, and I even wanted to muster up the love and energy in my heart to try to do yesterday's dare Day 11, but I couldn't. Then after talking to a good friend and posting about what had happened on my FB blog fan page I received this private message from DH:
"Hey i'm not doing anything with her just talking... and all she did was sent her phone number to my email. why should u save this marrage u didn't care about it 4 years ago... why now... and please don't be posting things that i do on the sites u go to... I've never cheated on u since we be married... i gave this marrage another shot...i bet none of them girls that u talk to know what u did to me...u always make it look like i did something wrong... when i didn't... u tryed to get rid of me once and if u want me gone i'll leave just tell me. I/m going to bed so maybe we'll talk or what ever..."
Apparently I don't write about how I cheated on him, even though I have just go back through my posts. Apparently he's never cheated on me while we've been married, (although cheating on me while we were dating and engaged is alright) and even though I'm pretty sure that's inaccurate. Apparently I want to get rid of him even though I've been doing this Love Dare to try to keep him and make things better. And ultimately I'm not allowed to write about him or us anymore anywhere, so.......... I'm not sure if I'll be writing anywhere anymore at all online except for school when it starts, and honestly at this point I don't even have my heart into that now. All I can do is ask you all to pray for me and us, b/c we need it. Thanks.
I'm so sorry to hear what's going on. He needs to realize if you both want to repair your marriage it takes TWO to do that, not just you. He needs to not do things that would make marriage tougher, texting back and forth with another lady isn't exactly working on the relationship. I hope things improve for you both. I know how much it takes to get trust back into a marriage when things happen like that. I cheated on my husband and admitted to him shortly after it all happened. My husband didn't cheat, but I caught him online playing with himself to porn and that hurt me. This both was back in 2004ish and it took a while to repair our relationship. It definitely takes two to make things better, so I hope your DH proves himself he's worth keeping around. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteOh Catrisha, I am so sorry to read this. It is heart breaking. I wish I had some really great advice to give or had some words of comfort, but all I can say is that I am thinking of you and praying for you. I pray that things get better, and that you and your husband are able to work through this if that is what you both want.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my heart.