Thursday, August 26, 2010

Devoted To Fixing My Marriage (Part.2)

I'm really hoping that with doing The Love Dare Challenge that I will be in a better place with my marriage. I once heard this saying, and it keeps ringing in my ears as things get worse and worse between DH and I, "Don't make someone your priority, when all you are is their option." I love my husband, I truely do. I want to chase eternity with him. I want our family, our home, and to have grown old with him so many years from now. I can only hope and pray that upone completion of this challenge things will be so much different. Love , trust, faith, hope, honesty, and more over devotion will have been restored back into our hearts and our marriage. So, without further ado, I said that I would post the second 20 days of the 40 day Love Dare, so here they are. I'm hoping that I have a few joiners or followers throughout this journey, please let me know?
  • Day 21: Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are 31-a full months supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with him. Isaiah 58:11 , Psalm 145:16
  • Day 22: Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return." Hosea 2:20, Psalm 119:30
  • Day 23: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse. 1 Corinthians 13:7, Job 22:23
  • Day 24: End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you've swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed-today-and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love. 1 John 2:17, 1 Peter 2:16
  • Day 25: Whatever you haven't forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to "Fogive us our debt" each day, we must ask him to help us "Forgive our debtors" each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long Say from your heart, "I choose to forgive." 2 Corinthians 2:10, Luke 23:34
  • Day 26: Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel. Romans 2:1, Galatians 6:4
  • Day 27: Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has old you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love. Psalm 25:20, Hebrews 10:24
  • Day 28: What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet that need. 1 John 3:16, Galatians 6:2
  • Day 29: Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you," then express your love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person-unconditionally, the way he loves both of you. Ephesians 6:7, Joshua 24:15
  • Day 30: Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that he would do the same for them. And if appropriate discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity. John 17:11, Deuteronomy 6:4
  • Day 31: Is there a 'leaving' issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent on it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship. Genesis 2:24, John 17:21
  • Day 32: If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your spouse today. Do this in a what that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy. 1 Corinthians 7:3, Song of Solomon 7:6

    *On a side note this day's dare is only for married couples*
  • Day 33: Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you. Ecclesiastes 4:11, Colossians 3:14
  • Day 34: Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today. 1 Corinthians 13:6, Psalm 101:2
  • Day 35: Find a marriage mentor-someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment. Proverbs 15:22, Proverbs 11:14
  • Day 36: Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a Devotional or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock. Psalm 119:105, Romans 15:4
  • Day 37: Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it's in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don't forget to thank Him for his provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself. Matthew 18:19, Psalm 88:13
  • Day 38: Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can. Psalm 37:4, 2 Corinthians 9:8
  • Day 39: Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place your spouse will find it. 1 Corinthians 13:8, Micah 7:18
  • Day 40: Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your marriage vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God's eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate. Ruth 1:16, Psalm 105:8


  1. Wow, there is a lot of good stuff here, thanks for posting!
    All of the best to you and your family!
    ICLW #171

  2. I love (I mean LOVE) this idea. I sincerely hope things are better for you when it's all said and done, and will be checking back to see how it's going!

  3. Thank you for sharing these. As you know J and I are in a bad time and I may have to suggest this!


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