He's Growing SOOOO Fast

It seems like just yesterday I found out that I was pregnant with *B*. Now he'll be 10months old tomorrow. He's doing so many new things daily. His new word is "Doggie-oggie-oggie", which he's been saying all day long the past 2 days. And for the past month "Mama" has completely left his vocabulary, which makes me sad. I know it will return, but I miss hearing it. Just in the past few days he's developed brave pants. He'll pull himself up to something then walk along it until he gets within steps of his next destination, and let go and take those couple of steps to the next point. For me this is the last baby stage, before he hits the pre-toddler stage. He is also very curious about EVERYTHING, and he's definitely got to check everything out by putting it in his mouth. This is the stage I hate, b/c nothing is safe. The highlight of my day is chasing him away from the dog's food and water bowls, and/or digging dog food out of his mouth if he sticks it in there and I don't catch him before hand. Of course by this point his attitude is WELL developed and he throws himself back into a heck of a tantrum.

Naptime in his crib has once again ceased to exist. If he's not in one of our arms or his head on our lap, he's not taking one. However bedtime is so routine now that I breeze right through it and he's out for the night. The saddest part is sometimes, I wish bedtime would come faster. Around 6pm he starts with a meltdown, and from there till bathtime it's all down hill. After his bath he is fine, but it's just that hour until then that makes me have to color my hair at 24!!! I do love my boy with all my heart though, so I just grit my teeth and bare through those moments.

He loves his outside time. He will actually cry to go out, and cry when it's time to come in. That has got to be the boy in him. He's also MEAN!!! Oh my is he ever mean. He will chase the cat then tackle it and hold it down till the cat cries, or he'll pull the cat's hair or tail, and then laugh about it. He hits with his toys, and pinches. I have no clue where he picked up these habits b/c we don't do them, but he has them and laughs when he does it. I assume it's that cause and effect stage...he does the mean task, and then waits to see what us or the animals are going to do back. This is one stage that I don't much care for, since he's mean about it.

Any way, I just can't believe how incredibly fast he's growing. Before I know it these next two months will be up and he'll be one. It really is cliche yet true what they say..."They grow like weeds, b/c time flies." That's why I try not to blink, b/c I'm afraid to miss a single moment.

Tissues for my Issues

I swear I'm having one of those days and nights, where a good old fashoined cleansing cry would help ALOT!!! I have so many things swirlling in my head that I can't make heads or tails of situations. It's like a big bowl of mush, that has left me with a migraine. I'm almost half wondering if this way of feeling isn't a touch of PPD from the chemical pregnancy and my hormone bounce back, or maybe the the onset of PMS about to hit??? I don't know, I just know I feel like burying my head in my pillow on my bed and bawling my eyes out, and honestly I have no reason to do so. I think my best bet is to curl up in bed with a box of tissues and a good book and let them flow, maybe I'll feel better then.........

One can only hope.

FINALLY!!!

Finally my HcG level is below 10. It feels like it has taken an eternity to get it to come down. Now, I'm just debating on whether we should start TTC#2 or whether we should still wait. I mean when I found out about this chemical pregnancy we weren't even trying, and I didn't even know I was until I went in b/c of having bleeding for 20 some odd days. Now, I just feel as if we should jump into trying, b/c this is what happened before I found out I was pregnant with *B*, and two months later I found out I was pregnant with him.

I don't know I guess I'm just still trying to sort out my thoughts on this m/c and TTC#2. We had originally decided to start when *B* was 11months old, which isn't that far away, so maybe we'll keep at that. And, if it's meant to be before that then it's meant to be.

Plummeting Levels

My HcG is coming down from taking the meds for the chemical pregnancy. I'm still sad and frustrated about the whole situation, but I'm putting those feelings to use, and researching about it. I figured I should learn everything there is to know, and maybe possible ways to prevent it from happening again. Since this is the second time it's happened to me. It has also got me thinking about maybe there being a chromosonal issue causing it. If any of you reading this know anything about chemical pregnancies or have had one yourself I would like to hear about your experience. None-the-less I just need to try to make heads or tails of the situation at hand, so hopefully I can find peace with my emotions again.

9 Month Well Baby

It's a little delayed, but considering I've had alot going on it's to be expected. *B* had his check up on April 2nd. I have a chunk on my hands. He's in the 80th percentile over all. He's a whooping 22lbs 8oz, and 30in tall. The pedi. said actually he's the size of a 1yr old. I already knew that b/c he's in 12month and some 18month sized clothing, I just can not wrap my mind around the concept of that yet. My baby is no longer a (sniffle, sniffle) baby.....wahhhhhhhhhh!!!

He's doing so many things. His vocab is increasing. He says Mama, Dada, Baba, Nigh (he says this when I tell him it's nite-nite time), Buh-Buh (bye bye I think, b/c he does it when waving), uhhh-keeehh (ucky referring to his toes and feet and dirty diapers), umm-umms (solid foods), and muwah (when I give him kisses and tell him I love him). Most things are in perfect context to what we are doing to him, but I know he's just repeating what he hears us say to him except for Mama, Dada, and Baba.

Poor boy still only has 1 tooth. Although he has 5 more trying to come in at one time. He's only getting 4 bottles a day and the rest is soft solid food or baby food. The pedi. has also wanted us to try to start incorporating milk products into his daily menu as well. So, we have started, it's just not going to well. He is good with milk product as he's on Similac Sensetive formula (milk-based lactose-free), he just has problems digesting the lactose. He's like his Daddy on that, b/c DH is the same way. We're trying little by little, but for starting out things aren't going well. Last night was a sleepless nite to say the least, b/c of a upset tummy little one.

He's down to only 1 nap a day, but it's at least 2 hours long if not longer instead of power cat naps and in his bed not in our arms any more. Thank God for that accomplishment. He gets at least 10-12 hours of sleep at nite.

He loves to be outdoors. We've been enjoying the warm weather and sunshine the past 4days. It's such a welcomed change from the cold and snow. He also loves this new push and ride car we got him. I can't keep the boy out of it. He just grins ear to ear and giggles this giggle that comes from his toes up. Too cute.

He's crawling, pulling up, and cruising. I thought I had my house baby-proofed....I think that you under estimate yourself when you think this. Any curious 9 month old is going to find something to get into that you thought was out of reach and in baby-proofing matter. Every day there is something he's found and put in his mouth, pulled down from somewhere, or knocked over (like my cup of water I always have on the end table daily...I've resorted to a water bottle so it doesn't get spilled anymore). I'm sure there is so much more that I'm forgetting, but I've gotten the specifics down and that is what matters.

I love him more than words can describe. He's a piece of me and a piece of DH all wrapped into one. My baby, my chubster, my little cheeky-monster. My little *B*.

***TMI ALERT!!!***

The bleeding has begun. It started Sunday. I'm so tired and have no energy. It's been heavy since it started plus I'm passing stringy blood clots. This is so different than the last time. I wonder if it's b/c my numbers were higher this time than last time??? Who knows. I know that the headaches and cramping get unbearable at times, but not to an unmanageable point yet. But I don't want there to be a yet I just want this to be over with. I'll keep you all updated or at least try when there are changes in things.