Pre-School Woes

I'm so furious with *B*'s pre-school teacher right now I could spit nails.

In *B*'s class there is a folder that is sent to and from school everyday, it's a communication folder so that the teacher and parent can communicate between one another about the child. Last week on his first day of pre-school she sent home the folder and had wrote in there that *B* had wiped his own butt when he had pooped earlier that day & she had spot checked him. For most this isn't a huge thing, but for *B* it was his first time doing this all by himself without assistance. Well, that evening when it was bath time and he took aff his underwear he had poop marks in them. I was upset about this and had asked *B* about his teacher's so-called "spot checking." He then told me that when he wiped and the TP was clean that the teacher said he was clean and to get off the toilet and pull up his pants.

So, all last weekend I observed him wiping his own butt. He would get the TP up to his crack on his buttcheek only grazing the poop and not up in there where it needed to be. Therefore he wasn't getting himself clean. So, when he went back to school on Tuesday I wrote in his communication folder what I had observed, what he had told me, and that I would appreciate her help in the matter of making sure he's clean so that he doesn't end up with a sore bottom. She wrote me back and asked me to send flushable wet wipes to school with him which I did, and we haven't had a problem with that since.

That combined with what happened yesterday and the phone call I got today is what has sent me over the edge. On Tuesday when she sent the communication folder home she had wrote in there that with lunch *B* had complained about a belly ache after drinking milk and asked if he had problems with it. She said that if he wanted to get cafeteria lunch again that maybe it would be best for me to sent a drink with him instead of him getting a milk. Being that when he was younger he was lactose intolerant reading this bothered me. So, yesterday when he wanted a cafeteria lunch again I packed in his lunchbox with an ice pack a capri sun, a fruit cup of pears (b/c listed on the lunch menu was peaches & he's allergic to peaches), and a packet of fruit snack... that's it. I sent in his communication folder his envelope with his lunch money for a tray lunch just as he had asked for. When they did lunch count that morning the teacher & aide never asked him about a cafeteria lunch they just took for granted that b/c he had a lunchbox that he had a fully packed lunch.

He went to lunch yesterday and opened his lunchbox. The teacher observed what he had in his lunchbox and asked him where his sandwich was. His reply to her was I guess Mommy forgot b/c sissy had her up early this morning (4:30am she got me up, 5:45am she woke him up with her crying). The teacher let him go at that. She never bothered to get him a tray lunch to make up for his lack of a lunch or even go to the office to give me a quick call at home to see what was going on. She let him eat that & only that. So then, at 2pm yesterday I recieve a phone call from her b/c she is just now getting to his communication folder and seeing that he was supposed to have a tray lunch along with what was in his lunchbox. Her call wakes me from a nap I was taking with *A* so I wasn't on my game when she called. She apologizes for the mix up. Says that he's at rest time but he's tossing and turning not falling asleep. I tell her that he's not going to if his belly is empty. She says snack time is in 10min, and she'll fix him up. I'm not reassured at all, and I get off the phone and bawl like a baby for him.

After picking him up from school yesterday and bringing him home he proceeds to eat two and a half slices of pizza and starts falling asleep sitting at the table while trying to finish the third slice. I have him to go lay in his bed. He then sleeps from 4pm yesterday evening until 7am this morning. He even slept through me changing him into his pjs. After him doing this and getting my head on straight about the situation I realize that what happened to him was unacceptable. So, I write in the communication folder in as polite of manner as I could that all I was doing was following what she had instructed earlier in the week about a juice. That it wasn't acceptable to me, and that I wish she would of called right at lunchtime (11am) when she noticed there was no sandwich instead of 3hrs later when she read his folder and instead of letting it go thinking that what he had said was the accurate & acceptable.

After she read my letter to her in the folder she called me and told me that I as a parent was belittling her as a teacher. That she couldn't handle the verbal beatdown I was giving her for the two mistakes, and she is only one teacher with 15 students. She asked if I wanted to switch him teachers or unenroll him from school. I told her that that was like punishing him for something that wasn't his fault, but her's and that I was not doing that. I know that he likes school (up until today when I took him and went to leave him this morning and he cried so hard he puked in his mouth, so I had to take him to the bathroom to get him cleaned up to which he threw sobs says to me Mommy don't leave me they don't take good care of me, they don't feed me) and her as a teacher. I know that mistakes happen, I just don't want these type of mistakes happening to my child or any child for that matter, and that she needed to make things right to him and for him. She told me she would, and I hope to God that she does or the end of his pre-school days will be over before they ever truly begin... simply b/c I don't want to have to worry about him for those 6hrs a day.