WARNING: SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!!

MELTDOWN IN 3.... 2.... 1.... AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(So, that you're aware before you proceed through this entry there is some vulgarity, alot of whining, bitching, and complaining. You are forewarned.)

The past two weeks have been weeks from hell, to put it mildly. It started with going to my new OB for my first appt. That wasn't that bad. But, I had to have the 1hr GTT done, that all women get done while at this point in their pregnancy. I failed that with flying colors, of course. So, I had the 3hr GTT done. Failed that too with flying colors. So, I had to see a diabetic dietitian and a diabetic counseling nurse. All that was fine too. What wasn't fine was that even given my new diet plan, and following it to the "T" I was having high sugars and severe lows. So, I had to call my OB to let him know what was going on. He then increased my oral insulin (Gly*buride) and referred me to a high risk specialist that deals with nothing but pregnant women that have gestational diabetes. The problem with this is it is an hour and forty-five minute drive away from where I live. Shit!

Seriously having GD has been a huge pain in my ass, and I've only been dealing with it for a week and a half. I hate having headaches from bouncing sugars. I hate having to watch my diet and my total carb count. I hate feeling shakey when my sugar drops to rapidly. I hate pricking my fingers 7 times a day. I hate that I have sore fingertips that even hurt to type let alone do anything else with. I hate that I have to sit by watching my family eat things I love, while I can't do it. I hate that this has honestly been the one complication that I've had so far, when I was really looking forward to an uneventful pregnancy this go round since my pregnancy with *B* was so complicated & intense. I hate that I feel like I can no longer enjoy this pregnancy, and that I feel like I'm counting down the days until it'll be over just so that I don't have to deal with this shit anymore.

If you've ever had GD, and have never dealt with sugar issues before I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It is like torture for a pregnant person. You want to eat when you want to eat, and you want to eat what you want to eat whenever. I constantly feel like I'm starving b/c I'm only allowed to eat every 3hrs, and the the options I have to eat feel limiting to me and most certainly do not fill me up. Oh and then there is the drinking water and only water thing. I love water don't get me wrong. It's my go to drink. However, I like to drink a sweet tea or a can of soda every once in awhile. If you drink one 12oz drink of either that is already one 30g total carb meal or snack and you haven't even ate anything with it. ARGH! Oh and it's summer and two of my favorite things to eat (ice cream & popscicles) are HUGE no-no's.

I know I need to be looking to the brighter side of things and seeing that this is such a small price to pay to ensure optimal health for my in-utero daughter who needs me, but damn it's sooooo hard for me. I'm doing better on my higher dosage sugar med, but it still feels like I'm depriving myself of things. I just have to keep telling myself there is only 11wks or less until she makes her presence in the world, and I can do it. I have to do it, for her health and my own.

Oh and as if dealing with having GD isn't bad enough *B* had his adnoid & tonsilectomy done a week ago today. He didn't have to have tubes put in his ears thank goodness. He was a champ at eating directly after the surgery with 2 popscicles, a chocolate chip cookie, chicken & stars soup with crackers, orange sherbet ice cream, about 5 bites of a sub I was eating for lunch, and some gold* fish crackers. His appetite is much different now though. I'm lucky to get him to eat one thing a day and drink 12oz or so of fluid. He's healing fine, but his whining from pain has me at my breaking point too. I know that he can't change how he feels thus he can't change his reactions to how he feels, but it's very exhausting for me. DH helps as much as he can when he's not working, but most times I feel like he makes him cry when he's home. I know he doesn't mean to and he's just parenting *B* how he should be parented when he's not sore, it's just that it's hard on me seeing him crying. I tend to give him whatever he wants when DH isn't here just so that I don't have to listen to the constant whimpering and whining that has become and everyday thing now for a week.

Go ahead pass me the Bad Mother Award, I don't give a shit. I'm dealing with enough as it is, what's one more thing to deal with or be criticized on. I can't wait until he's back to 100%... it most certainly can not come fast enough. I think this Mama needs a vacation... PRONTO!

*sigh*

Failed A Test

Hey ya'll!! Long time no blog. Things are going good here on the pregnancy & home fronts. Today I am currently 27w1d pregnant, and things seem to be moving along quite well. However, there have been a couple of minor (and one major, but now resolved) setbacks.

First and foremost the major set back was having to find a new OB at 22wks pregnant. I went in for my last OB visit with my old (but new to my gynecological history) Dr. When I was in there it was the 3 appt. that I had asked him about monitoring my TSH levels for my hypothyroidism. I also asked him about getting re-fills for my Metformin, Synthroid, and what he was going to do about my BP since he had taken me off of my BP meds at the beginning of my pregnancy and I was having slightly elevated BPs. His responses to my questions made me shutter. He told me to go off my Metformin completely and he wasn't prescribing me a re-fill for it and that I shouldn't even be taking it while pregnant. Any PCOSer that has been pregnant and carried to term should know that remaining on Metformin throughout your pregnancy is extremely beneficial. It helps prevent miscarriage early on in pregnancy AND later in pregnancy helps to prevent pre-term labor (which I am/was at risk for both). I asked him if he had medical documents for proof of these findings, b/c my previous OB had told and showed me things contray to these statements of his he was telling. His response was I'm sure I do but, I'll have to look for them. In the meantime go off the Metformin and get your GTT done.

I again asked him about my thyroid after he had said this all to me, and he told me I wasn't presenting with signs of my TSH being out of order so he didn't think that I needed it tested. Ladies with hypothyroidism, please if your OB tells you this while pregnant... FIND ANOTHER OB!! Having your TSH level test frequently (like every 4-6wks) while pregnant is crucial. If your TSH is out of order at anytime throughout your pregnancy and your medication is not regulated it can harm your baby's brain development in-utero and also cause developmental delays for your child once s/he is born. I questioned his judgement on this and again he repeated himself to me.

Also, about the BP meds. He told me that I had nothing to worry about that my BP was fine. Ummm, not hardly. I had pre-e that changed into eclampsia and finally toxemia while I was pregnant with *B*. This is caused from unmonitored or untreated hypertension and your body's natural defense mechanism fromt eh liver filtering out the toxins appropriately. Being that I have had chronic hypertension since early 2006 before I was ever pregnant with my son and then extreme hypertension involving the complications that I had with him, this is something that any OB should definitely be on top of throughout your pregnancy instead of letting it go.

Over all I just felt like I had slipped through the cracks in the care of this OB and office, AND that he is a quack!! So, I started with calling my insurances once I left his office and finding out if I could switch Dr's this late in my pregnancy. I was told yes, but that I might have a difficult time finding one that would accept me since I was past 20wks pregnant. They gave me a list of OBs affiliated with different hospitals within a certain distance of me that accepted my insurances. I started calling, and thankfully the very last OB that I had contacted and was waiting on hearing back from on if they would accept me called back. His office would indeed accept me. So, this past Monday was my first appt.

When I went in there I had been suffering from severe migraines that weren't allergy related. I thought for sure they were from having high BPs. My BP when I was in there was only 122/80, and I had a migraine. This new OB was so thorough, and I was very pleased with him. He went along with everything my original OB had told me about my meds and monitoring. We spoke in his office, then I went to an exam room and was looked over, and finally ended in the u/s room getting to see the Little Miss. She was measuring right on track, weighing in at 1lb13oz so far, and her HR was 146bpm. The OB said that my headaches could be anything from high BP (which it wasn't high that day) to sugar issues to allergies to changing hormone levels. He ordered a whole battery of bloodwork including the 1hr GTT. That is the test I failed, and it is one that I couldn't study or prepare for. When the nurses called the following day about my test results she told me I had failed it miserably, that they don't like to see numbers over 130 and mine was pushing 300. So, I was ordered the to do the 3hr GTT.

That test was done on Friday the 13th. I don't have the results back yet for that (but will tomorrow), and I'm not superstitious but I don't have high expectations for the results from this test. It was like torture for me (and if you've ever had it done you too). I had to fast for 12hrs before the initial blood FBS blood draw. That level came back at 122 after not eating or drinking for 12hrs. Then I had to drink that nasty overloaded with sugar flat Orange Sunkist tasting drink. Blech! At the end of the test I had been poked 5 times for blood draws ever hour on the hour (I only needed to be poked 4 times but one time the lab tech blew threw my vein), had an extreme migraine as well as the shakes. You don't realize how hungry you are when you're pregnant until you've been forced to go without for food for 15 1/2hrs. Yeah, extreme torture is the only way I can go about describing the 3hr GTT.

So, those are my major and minor set backs... but honestly unless I find out I failed the 3hr GTT I don't think they are that bad now looking back. So, that being said I'll leave you with my belly shots from 20wks, 22wks, 24wks (Easter Sunday), and 26wks (last week, Mother's Day). The Little Miss is growing like a weed and so is my belly. I just wish I could feel her on the outside more, instead of feeling on her kicking in my cervical area. She's still breech the little stinker any way. Enjoy!