Battling The Sickies

I'm so tired of everyone in my family being sick, especially my little man. My poor *B* has been sick with a horrible cough and runny (green snot) nose since early November. I've been religiously taking him to see his pediatrician like clock work about every 14-15days. He's been on different antibiotics 6 different times in the past 3 1/2 months. He is always prescribed to take them 10days, and within 3-5days of finishing the medicine he's right back to the same symptoms. It's to the point he doesn't even want to take medicine any more, and yet he still sounds like a hound dog when coughing and is no better.

My Mommy heart breaks for him, b/c there is nothing that I can other than what I've been doing which is everything. I'm beginning to hate his pediatrician too, b/c I feel like she doesn't listen to me and that to her I'm just another mother that doesn't follow through with giving her child their meds. I'm not that type of Mom at all. Just 2wks ago I ended up in an arguement with her over this on-going ailment we've been dealing with. Poor *B*'s ears have been sensetive to sounds since mid-December, and each time we're in there I tell her and she says there is nothing wrong with his ears. I finally put my foot down and told her I thought she was a quack and that her specialty was pediatrics not the ears, nose, and throat and I wanted a referral to an ENT for him. After her (always drops the ball) staff took their sweet ass time (a week) and I called in there complaining I finally got the referral for my insurance for the ENT. The bad part is the appt isn't until March 22nd.

I have to call in daily to see if I can get an earlier an appt if there's a cancellation, but so far no luck. *B*'s poor stomach and pelvic floor muscles are so weak from all his coughing that he dribble pees his pants everytime he coughs. He'll come to me so upset and crying over this loss of dignity that he gained when becoming fully potty trained. My poor heart breaks for him many times a day, but I comfort him letting him know it's not his fault and everything will be alright. I also reassured him that he's not the only one that is experiencing this, as Mommy being sick and being pregnant is causing me to do the same thing. Of course I got a smile out of him from that, and a huge hug.

The worst part about him and this on-going sickness is that I keep getting it. I've been on 3 different antibiotics since becoming pregnant for the the same symptoms he has. Just this past week all three of us were deathly ill with the same symptoms (coughing, gagging until we puke, sinus congestion, and eventually runny noses with lots of sneezing). We all started the Z-pack this past Friday. DH no longer has any symptoms. I still have a tickle in my throat with a cough. *B* still sounds the same as when he began the medicine. *B* and I both ended up in the ER for dehydration. It's a vicious cycle that keeps repeating and I just wish that for once we could all be healthy, but apparently that's asking to damned much. ARGH!

On a side note: With having been so sick and not being able to keep anything down and being seen in the ER... I had to see the OB to make sure the baby was alright. I got an u/s done on Fri. when I was in there to get my script for the Z-pack, and baby was very active even though I'd only had a slice of toast in my system for the past 4days prior to the appt. The heartrate was 158bpm. My BP on Fri. was 140/87, but my OB wasn't worried he said it was my body's defense mechanism dealing with the stress of the sickness. I had to go back in there yesterday so that he could make sure that I was improving on the meds, and make sure he didn't need to admit me. On the doppler yesterday the baby's heartrate bounced between 152 and 158bpm. My BP was 128/78, and just over the weekend and being prescribed what I'm calling the miracle medicine (ph*energan) I gained back 4 of the 5lbs I had lost in the week before. So, baby is good even though I've been sick, and slowly I'm on the mend... just wish the little man was too.

One last side note: Don't forget to vote on my right sidebar on the baby's gender. Voting ends March 15th before the gender u/s. I'm curious to see what ya'll think we're having. Oh and I'm 14w2d today.

The End of Some Eras

Some good, some bad... all things must come to an end.

This past weekend really tugged at my heart strings. After months of the Monster growing out of things, I finally decided to have a garage sale. Selling clothing and toys that he's out grown didn't really bother me (well except for when he had a meltdown when a woman carried off a learn to walk with push toy lawn mower). What bothered me was finally breaking down and deciding to sell all the bigger baby items that DH and I had been storing away. On Thursday evening as I had help with one of my best-friends carrying *B*'s crib, changing table, swing, bassinet, bouncer, high chair, and walker to the garage to set up for the sale I reminisced over every item and the milestones he reached while using each item. My heart fluttered, my lip quivered, and as I told her things I remembered *B* doing in each item the tears started to flow. It was my choice to sell all these bigger items, and now that they are all gone I ponder if it was the right decision. We aren't doing any treatments, we're actually taking a break from TTC. I don't feel like "trying" any more honestly. I can't handle the heartache or heartbreak that comes along with it, and thus it kind of made the decision of selling off these items easier. I know my heart mourns the loss of the items, but I'll forever have my memories that were made with my son in each one. I just wish that we would of been able to make memories with another child in them as well. But, *B* will be 3 in less than a month and I just felt as though it was time to let go and well let whatever happens happen... I suppose if we get a BFP again and go to term we can always buy new like we did the first time.

The end of the second era all in the same week/weekend was I officially have a potty trained boy. He's not completely night trained yet, and we're still working on that and wearing pull-ups at night, but he's now sporting cute little El*mo, To*y St*ory, and outer space underwear through the day. I'm so proud of him. We've been doing the on and off potty training thing for 18mths (I know WAYYYYY to long) with him pooping in the potty pretty much all the time for the past year. We've had our set backs and what not, but this was surely a long time coming. And let me just say he's sooooo happy with himself. He's growing up all too fast, and even though I've been blessed to be a SAHM sometimes I think back and see how fast it's went and think I've missed so much even though I haven't. (That's why I haven't been blogging so much, I'm spending so much time with him b/c I don't want to forget a single moment, or miss it for that matter.)

The end of the third era in the past month that I'm thrilled about, but sadden about too is *B* is no longer co-sleeping with DH and I. We didn't do anything different really, except when we get up to make him use the potty at night we put him in his bed instead of returning him to ours. He's been coming to our bed for a year now (ever since we moved in the house), and DH and I were lacking in the sleep dept. Now, since we started that he's just not been coming to our bed at all. When he was a baby and in his bassinet I kept him in our room until he was almost 6mths old. When I knew it was time for him to be in his crib, b/c he was out growing the bassinet; I couldn't sleep at night, b/c I couldn't hear him breathing anymore except over the baby monitor which let's face it isn't the same. Now that's he's been in our bed for a year and even though I wasn't getting the best sleep, I was sleeping. Now that he's gone... I'm back to not being able to sleep again b/c he's not there to snuggle or hear breathing.

The end of the fourth and final era is death of a sippy cup. This was a hard one, and like bottle breaking really. He's cried for it, but I encourage him he can get the same refreshing drinks from a regular cup as he was his sippy. This was a combined effort of us doing this by him throwing his sippy cups out the window of our moving vehicle while going 60mph down the highway 4 different times, and the fact that I refused to spend more money on cups if he was just going to chuck them out the window. So, I put my foot down and disposed of all the sippies in the house and we're doing plain water in a regular cup with wet spots down our shirt right now. LOL! He's trying hard he's just impatient and used to chugging on the sippy cup and hasn't figured out how to master a similar technique on a regular cup yet without drenching himself. We'll get there it's just slow going.

But, like I opened with all things must come to an end and so must this entry. So, catch ya'll on the next entry and I hope that you're enjoying Summer 2010 with your loved ones as much as I am.

PS: You like the new blog design? And is there anything you'd like me to change if not?

Lack of Patience and The "Friend"

Welcome IComLeavWe'ers. If this is your first time visiting my blog you can find my TTC Journey above this post in the tool bar. If you frequent this blog, and have no clue what I'm talking about each month when I say it's that time of month again for ICLW; well click on that cute yellow button on my right sidebar and it'll take you to this month's list of blogs in the ALI community and give you a better explaining or what this is all about. (I'm not doing it, b/c well I'm lazy tonight and super tired, sorry. :))

Any way, back to regular scheduled blogging...

It seems that my adorable, bubbly, blond hair, blue-eyed, 2yr old Monster, *B* is really testing his limits these last couple of weeks... and of course with that Mommy's patience. I hate to complain, b/c he is a blessing... but dang when will the terrible 2's be over? And please don't tell me age three isn't any better, b/c I've already heard that. I'm not sure why he's being like this other than the bad influence of my Dad, little brother, and little brother's mom. Only problem is since my Dad and I had that falling out he hasn't been around any of them except one time, and that was for maybe 15min. I know his mind is a like a little sponge and it's always "Monkey see, Monkey do, Monkey get in trouble too" with him, but I don't think he realizes that their actions are totally inappropriate and he shouldn't be copying them. He's taken to talking back, not wanting to eat, belching loudly and not excusing himself, covering his ears so he's not able to listen, throwing things, and wanting to fight constantly as just a short run down of things. I can't hardly take or stand his actions, and I find myself having to count to 10 numerous times a day or put him in time out constantly. He's even acquired a few hand and butt swats, neither of which have phased him though. I'm just at my wits end with this, and I'm not sure what else to do. I can't just ride out this phase, b/c I don't know how long it will last. Plus he needs to know that his actions aren't suitable, but other than being the example that I already am and telling him he shouldn't do this or that for whatever reason; what more can I do? Advice is welcome.

During all this unruliness though, *B* has acquired a new friend. An imaginary friend. I first started noticing him talking to himself little by little here and there about three months ago, but then it dissipated. Then when we found out we were pregnant before we found out it was a chemical pregnancy last month it started up again. Only it's more than just talking now. I have to tuck the "friend" in bed with him. I have to wash the "friend" at bath time too. He eats half of his meals then pushes his "friend" his plate to eat the rest of it. He throws fits while going into a store that I've left the "friend" in the car. I assume the "friend" is much older than *B*, as he has a job and gets a paycheck and isn't here during the days most the time, but I have no clue honestly. I'm handling the "friend" quite well all except for I can't see him and never know where he is and for the name that *B* has chosen to give him. The "friend's" name is Booger Butthole. Yes, you most certainly read that right. I'm not sure where he came up with that name, but imagine walking into Wal*Mart while your child is screaming and flailing around in the cart screaming at the top of his lungs, "Mommy, you left Booger Butthole strapped in the car! Mommy go out and get Booger Butthole! Mommy Booger Butthole is scared b/c he's all alone out there!" Totally Mortifying!

I've tried to persuade him to change the "friend's" name to something different, and he will for about an hour. Then it always goes back to the current name. I'm hoping this phase too is VERY quick lived, b/c trying to explain why my child has chosen some off the wall name for an imaginary friend that they think he shouldn't have in the first place is proving to be a defeating task. Lord help us!!

Not My Child Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. And Don't be afraid to join in the fun and add your own Not Me! Monday post.

As most of you know *B* (my little Monster) is sick. He has the cruddy croup. Before his cough came in he was just running a fever and vomiting. The first day he was sick I didn't know it really. He was running a tiny temp, but nothing drastic and I thought it was just his molars. So, we headed out to Wal-Mart. (We were due to get pounded by a snow storm/blizzard and I wanted to be prepared.) I had him in the seat part of the cart and I had my cart full of groceries. I rounded the corner to go in the infant/child section for some nite-time pull-ups when he decides NOT to give me any warning then proceeds to burp and vomit all over the the rack of diapers. Then says "Mommy my belly hurts." Nope. Not My Child!

As if that wasn't bad enough and I wasn't mortified already. He then screams at the top of his lungs "G*d D*mn Pooook!" Making everyone stare even more. (Thanks DH for saying this totally inappropriate phrase.) He's definitely Not My Child! now.

The mess got cleaned up in Wal-Mart and we made it home and 14in of snow and 36hrs of vomiting, on-and-off fever, and a newly developed cough and snot nose later made it to his pediatrician's office. Once there and getting checked out it's like everything is alright, although I knew differently b/c he was still whinning and NOT acting himself. The Dr. orders up some tests that we have to go to the hospital and lab to get done. When we arrive there we get the chest x-ray first, b/c I knew if he got blood drawn first he would NOT sit still for the x-ray. In radiology he proceeds to hack and sneeze all over the place, and when I wasn't paying close enough attention wipe his snot that had run down his lip when sneezing on the x-ray board. "Are you serious he DID NOT just do that?!?!" (Oh it gets better...) When we arrived at the vampire lab after x-ray and the blood suckers were trying to be all cutesy with him saying they were looking for his muscles when looking for a vein and then tied that thing (can't think of the name of it right now) around his arm when they found it and it pinched; he said "Sh*t!" Of course they thought it was cute and had to laugh at him making him say it again. So, when they finally stuck the needle in he screams "SH*T!" and cries. They're NOT laughing now, and he's NOT MY CHILD! b/c I certainly HAVE NOT raised him to act like this.

Oh how I love hate the terrible 2's, and I've heard 3 isn't much better. *sigh* PS: He's still sick, but showing some improvement. At least he's eating now after 5 days of only fluids that he mostly threw-up.

Serenity...

or maybe the regaining of my sanity is my daily shower. I would love to be able to get one in the near future with the bathroom door closed. B/c ya know I have to keep it open b/c God forbid my child have to pee, and can't open the door himself for whatever reason. Or how about getting one without the toilet getting flushed while I'm in there less than 3 times. That would be great too. And DH was even guilty of this one today which made 4 times and I about hopped out of the shower to start beating some a$$ when I found it to be him. (He stood there giggling like a school boy under his breath, I could of killed him for that one.) Or getting one without one side of the shower curtain being pulled open for the ump-teenth time b/c "Mommy, I want in derr wit youuuuu." I've even mastered the art of washing and conditioning my hair and shaving my armpits in 6 1/2min flat, b/c that is all the time I get before my little Monster starts to undress himself and hops in and joins me. Forget about shaving my legs, b/c ya know I get one partially shaved and not the other, and the the next shower I do the other while the first one doesn't get touched.... so basically I'm shaving a leg at a time... LOL! Life would be grand to have my serenity and sanity time back to myself again and two shaved legs at the same time. B/c Lord knows that's the only time I get away from the Monster. But not me, that would be too much to ask. But this is my crazy life and I love it. Even though I'm secretly going gray (not that that's a secret now) and my hair is falling out and I have high blood pressure b/c I never get to destress, you know I'm not changing it for anything in the world.... well unless it's privacy in the shower again.... LOL! Oh and this should so be a Not Me Monday post. Oh well though.