Foster to Adopt

At the end of 2005 beginning of 2006 we took the classes, completed the homestudy, did the physicals, basically jumped threw rings of fire. We got our certificates, and I wanted to try just one more time for one of my own with fertility treatments. So, I had an exploratory laparoscopy done with another HSG, and was referred off to the RE. We did one more treatment...an injectible cycle and ended up with a chemical pregnancy. We waited for the my levels to fall back to normal, and then I naturally get the brightest boldest BFP ever with my pregnany for *B*. Since then we haven't thought about fostering or adopting, and our credentials expired at the beginning of this year, until this week.

I received a call from a children services case worker that my godson had been abandoned this passed Friday. My best friend (and his mom) S*andra passed away two years ago this Christmas coming. He went to live with his father who walked out on him when he was 6 months old in children's hospital, and wasn't there for him until this happened. Not to long after that he was imprisoned for a drug charge, and won't get out until the middle of '09. He left my godson with his live-in girlfriend at the time to care for him. Well, this past Friday when a nurse went to her residence to get my godson ready for school and on the bus (he has disabilities for those that don't know b/c he was a micro-preemie born at 23w5d gestation) she was gone and he was laying in his bed with a note stating..."He's become to much of a burden for me and I can no longer care for him, please find him a good home other than here. He has plenty of family members that will step-up and friends of the family that will as well, please contact them." She took her son with her, hasn't been back to her residence since. My godson has had 24hr a day nursing care in this residence with a posted law officer since. However he has to be placed by Friday.

So, my best-friend's sister contacted to me to give me the heads up and said she was trying to get him, but have given the case worker my name as well. Then I get another call the next day (Sat.) from said friend telling me that their backgrounds didn't check out b/c of her one son and daughter being on probation for fighting in school. I get a call from the case worker Mon. morning and she asks me if there was ever any written documentation of said god-parentship. I told her at one point S*andra had had paper work made up, but after her passing it mysteriously vanished from her safe. So, the case worker asked us about our previous foster to adopt paperwork and why we never went through with having a child placed in our home, and why we let our license expire......and my answer as plain and simple as I could be "B/c we had a child that's why." I feel like a quitter on this, and now I'm afraid that this one answer is going to be used against me in my godson's placing. I know I"m being modest b/c I know in our state that you have to be licensed in order to foster a child that is in state care like he is. We're doing everything possible, but I know my hands are tied and I feel like a failure. I'm actually losing sleep over this, b/c I know S*andra is rolling in her grave with what is going on.

I would love for us to have him, but at the same time in a little more than 24 hours from now I know he'll be placed and we haven't heard anything back yet. I can only hope and pray it will be with us, but if not my next pray is that it is with good people that are caring and will provide for him and nuture him in the way he hasn't been cared for or nutured since S*andra's passing. Please girls keep your fingers crossed for me and this situation b/c I'm on edge about it and very stressed with the waiting and not knowing.