Merry Christmas!!!

Things here have been hectic to say the least. I think that each and every one of our lives is filled with lots of chaos at this time of year, but I truely believe that some more than others. Since 12/17/08 I've had H*unter here all except for one night. H*attie and J*ordan came to get him this morning. I couldn't imagine being away from my baby this long at this age and on Christmas morning of all mornings, but she doesn't mind in fact she's the one that asked me to keep keeping him. She's having a hard time with PPD, but she won't contact her Dr. to get treatment for it. Plus, I suppose that J*ordan losing his job the Friday after they came home from the hospital has played a huge toll on them too. For me mothering two is hard work. It's not H*unter that is giving me the issues, but *B*. He's jealous...and he very well should be as I'm his Mommy and he doesn't fully understand why there is this new little baby in this house taking away my time from him. He's not been sleeping well for us again b/c he's afraid he'll miss something when it comes to H*unter. Any way, he's home with his parents now and I hope to get some much needed sleep and spend some quality time with my baby tomorrow playing with all his new toys that he got today from Santa, b/c thankfully he's sleeping and at a decent time. Unfortunately since things are still bleak for H*attie and them, I'm sure it won't be long before I'm getting a call asking me to keep him yet again. Oh, and while I love having him here and spending time with him DH isn't as thrilled....he thinks I'm making it too easy on them. So, there has been alot of bickering between him and me. For me I'm torn between the best interest of the baby or let them deal with it???? I weigh this and each time I worry about that little guy, b/c it's not his fault that his parents more or less can't handle him and don't want him around. What would you do?
As for us....we didn't get my godson. S*andra would be rolling in her grave. The lady that originally contacted us from CPS never called and never called. Finally come late the afternoon of the placement I couldn't stand being on pins and needles any longer I called her. I asked her what was going on with his placement and should we be expecting him. Her response to me was "He's already been placed in a good foster home that is adequate for providing for him that is already licensed and wouldn't need to re-certify, plus L*uke (the dad) doesn't want him placed with you.....I can no longer discuss the case with you." Since then I've had a million questions run through my head that I wish I would of asked her, not sure if she would of answered them or not, but now I'll never know; instead I politely said thank you for your time and hung up. Of course I bawled, b/c S*andra would never of wanted this. He's not been placed with any of S*andra's family, and the CPS lady isn't releasing any information to them about him. I'm not sure how L*uke still had a say-so as I'm pretty certain that CPS had custody at this point, but who knows. I just pray that his best interest was at heart and he's well taken care of where ever he is.

Today....well, present opening was a blast. That was until *B* lost interest in the ripping of paper and only wanted to play with the gifts that attracted his attention already that he'd opened. We probably over did it with gifts for *B*, but I loved seeing his face as each gift was revealed and then when DH opened each one and put it together so he could play with it. His favorites were the fish aquarium that DH's older sister got him, the basketball ball hoop that my sister got him, the robot that one of my aunt's got him, the tool set and bouncy zebra that we got him, and the trike that my mom got him. DH got me new clothes and shoes, a spa package, and a gift certificate to get my hair cut and colored. I got him clothes, cologne, tools, and a Starbucks gift card. We were more worried about *B*, and he made out like a bandit. There was lots of great food and many memories to last a lifetime as this was his first Christmas that he could get into opening gifts and what not. Of course he was the Christmas ham, and put on a show for everyone of our family members at each place we visited. Oh my do I love my son. All and all it was a great day, and I need my sleep now that the stress-filled event is over, and I'm back down to just having my child...LOL. I'll leave you with some of my favorite pics from the three Christmas dinners that we either held or attended. Merry Christmas Everyone, Hope You Were just as Blessed as We Were!!!

Christmas with DH's side of the family at our house on December 20th:

Christmas at my Aunt's house December 24th...the robot that he LOVES!!!:

*B*'s reaction to seeing

This and this when he woke up this morning:

Opening and playing with his gifts this morning at our house.

Christmas at my mom's house today:

***Oh and if you've made it this far check out my post below this one from yesterday....I'm an Aunt again to ANOTHER preemie.***

'Tis the Season for Premature Babies

Well, at least in my family it must be. I am an aunt yet again this month. My step-sister who wasn't originally due until 1/23/09 had her little girl. She's 5wks early, so tiny, but adorable. My step-sis had something called cholestasis (sp?) that deals with your gallbladder. It's causing the gallbladder to release toxins into her blood stream that her liver can no longer filter out and it was causing the baby to be under-developed and not move like she was supposed to. Her Drs. told her that if she stayed pregnant one week longer it was likely that the baby and/or herself may die. Mother and baby are both doing fine. The baby has had a couple of breathing spells where she forgets to breath since she was born, but nothing that has warranted NICU time or any hospital time for that matter. So she was started on an induction method the night of 12/18/08. Please help me welcome to the world my adorable niece

B*rayLynne N*evaeh

December 19, 2008 @ 12:52pm

5lbs 2oz......18in.

I wasn't able to see her for the first time until Christmas day as I was busy, busy, busy (aren't we all at this time of year though?), and I couldn't get over just how tiny she is. Here is a picture of her fitting into a little babydoll carrying thing that one of my other nieces received for Christmas.

Here is my step-sis and little B*rayLynne.

My jealous heathen, but he's so full of love to give to any baby. He's giving her kisses on her head here.

Here is B*rayLynne and her Daddy.

Foster to Adopt

At the end of 2005 beginning of 2006 we took the classes, completed the homestudy, did the physicals, basically jumped threw rings of fire. We got our certificates, and I wanted to try just one more time for one of my own with fertility treatments. So, I had an exploratory laparoscopy done with another HSG, and was referred off to the RE. We did one more treatment...an injectible cycle and ended up with a chemical pregnancy. We waited for the my levels to fall back to normal, and then I naturally get the brightest boldest BFP ever with my pregnany for *B*. Since then we haven't thought about fostering or adopting, and our credentials expired at the beginning of this year, until this week.

I received a call from a children services case worker that my godson had been abandoned this passed Friday. My best friend (and his mom) S*andra passed away two years ago this Christmas coming. He went to live with his father who walked out on him when he was 6 months old in children's hospital, and wasn't there for him until this happened. Not to long after that he was imprisoned for a drug charge, and won't get out until the middle of '09. He left my godson with his live-in girlfriend at the time to care for him. Well, this past Friday when a nurse went to her residence to get my godson ready for school and on the bus (he has disabilities for those that don't know b/c he was a micro-preemie born at 23w5d gestation) she was gone and he was laying in his bed with a note stating..."He's become to much of a burden for me and I can no longer care for him, please find him a good home other than here. He has plenty of family members that will step-up and friends of the family that will as well, please contact them." She took her son with her, hasn't been back to her residence since. My godson has had 24hr a day nursing care in this residence with a posted law officer since. However he has to be placed by Friday.

So, my best-friend's sister contacted to me to give me the heads up and said she was trying to get him, but have given the case worker my name as well. Then I get another call the next day (Sat.) from said friend telling me that their backgrounds didn't check out b/c of her one son and daughter being on probation for fighting in school. I get a call from the case worker Mon. morning and she asks me if there was ever any written documentation of said god-parentship. I told her at one point S*andra had had paper work made up, but after her passing it mysteriously vanished from her safe. So, the case worker asked us about our previous foster to adopt paperwork and why we never went through with having a child placed in our home, and why we let our license expire......and my answer as plain and simple as I could be "B/c we had a child that's why." I feel like a quitter on this, and now I'm afraid that this one answer is going to be used against me in my godson's placing. I know I"m being modest b/c I know in our state that you have to be licensed in order to foster a child that is in state care like he is. We're doing everything possible, but I know my hands are tied and I feel like a failure. I'm actually losing sleep over this, b/c I know S*andra is rolling in her grave with what is going on.

I would love for us to have him, but at the same time in a little more than 24 hours from now I know he'll be placed and we haven't heard anything back yet. I can only hope and pray it will be with us, but if not my next pray is that it is with good people that are caring and will provide for him and nuture him in the way he hasn't been cared for or nutured since S*andra's passing. Please girls keep your fingers crossed for me and this situation b/c I'm on edge about it and very stressed with the waiting and not knowing.

12 Days of Baking...

Feel free to share your's I have!!!

You've heard of the 12 days of Christmas, well in this house it usually is the 12 days of baking madness. I absolutely LOVE to bake, but I've been doing so good diet wise. I'm down 38lbs in 6mths. So, this year presents a new challenge, b/c Lord knows I love to lick the bowl after each goody I make...LOL. Every year since I've been on my own with DH and now *B* I've always been elected to do the family treat/goody nibbler platter with cookies, fudges, candies, and what-not. I swear I have to start 12 days before Christmas to get everything done so I'm not in a big rush. This year I was trying to think of things I could make that were no-bake/no or less fuss, just as tasty, and I could double up more than a couple things in one day without losing my mind. I've came up with a few that aren't going to be too time consuming and I think I'll be able to cut it down to 5-6 days. Thankfully the week of Christmas DH is on vacation so I'll be able to be in the kitchen doing what I need without little hands tugging on my apron strings...LOL.

But, I thought I would ask if anyone has any favorite sweet treat finger food recipes that they like to make this time of year or anytime of year really that they would like to share in my comments? If you have something no -bake, fat free or low-cal major plus, if not that's fine too...b/c I'm losing now if I gain I'll just re-lose it again. No worries. Happy Holidays. I'll share my fav recipe in my comments first.

The Grinch and Lump of Coal it "SHOULD" Be....

I'm telling you I'm so sick of yelling at my child that he's dwindling away my Christmas spirit. I know that he doesn't mean to (or maybe he does since I only notice him pushing my limits), but good grief how am I going to handle the terrible two's if this is what I'm dealing with now. My voice is hoarse from the one billion times a day I tell him to "Stay Out of the Christmas Tree NOW!!!" Or how about the thousand times a day I tell him not to pull the stockings down. Then there is the new things I have to yell about such as spitting, pinching, and biting. At the beginning of each day my telling him starts out nice, but after six or more hours of repetitively having to tell him not to do the same thing my patience are so thin I find my voice raised and patience no where to be found. Therefore I'm ready to change out his Christmas gifts for lumps of coal. Although he would probably finding getting black and sooty to be just as fun I bet...LOL.

I find myself in a rather grinchy mood due to all the hostility in the house. I'm not sure if I'm on edge due to AF being in town or what, but I'm sooooo not in the spirit. I know this weekend we have a couple of fun things planned such as going to see Christmas lights, the drive-thru live nativity scene at our church, and the Christmas Candle Lighting here -> in Historic Roscoe Village. I'm hoping that this few things will put me in better spirits, b/c before I know it that big day will be here, and even before that I'll have to start the Christmas baking that I am elected to do each year, and I don't want to pass my bah-hun-buggy-ness onto anyone else. Wish me seasons greetings and Happy Holidays, b/c I'm hoping to pass what little bit of umph I do have in all that onto you my faithful readers.

Coming Home!!!

They both get to come home if things keep progressing for them both, on Monday. H*attie FINALLY got to hold H*unter today too. J*ordan said she sobbed. Melt my heart. I missed it. I've been up there everyday, except today b/c I'm soooo wore out, and wouldn't you know she finally felt up to holding him today and I missed it. Oh well, it was her moment any way. I'm so proud of her, that my heart feels like it might explode with joy. I can only pass on what I know and bestill in her all the motherly values that I have, and hope and pray that she will be an excellent mother. I'm excited that they will both get to come home together though. WOW!!! God does hear and answer prays. Thanks those that have said some. Now I'll leave you with a pic they sent me today. I love it eyes wide open......I just want to smoosh and goosh and kiss all over him.

AF Once Again

For documentation purposes I wanted to put it in here that AF made her nasty appearance once again today after having to take Provera. Boy, how I missed and loved the months before *B* when I didn't have to take that nasty stuff, and it just arrived on it's own. Oh well, onto yet another cycle. Not that that is of major importance.

And, for those that are wondering we're taking a break in the TTC department for awhile. To many things going on in the homeland right now.

Calling All Prayer Warriors

Here is what has been going on with H*attie and H*unter.

Yesterday:
In total she ended up needing 5 blood transfusions and 2 things of platelets. Her bleeding slowed to almost stopping, and she passed lots of numerous large blood clots. She had blood work done and and her white blood cell count was triple what it should of been, and she was running a temperature of 105.1. Her Dr. started her on antibiotics. H*unter wasn't tolerating his feedings and throwing them all back up.

Today:
Hattie's temperature has come down alot. It was 101.3 last time I talked to her. Her white blood cell level is still very elevated. She's still not held H*unter except for the day he was born laying beside her in bed. H*unter was given his first feeding at 9am this morning and he took in 20cc and held it all in tolerated it VERY well. He's had 2 more feedings since then one of 25cc and one of 20cc and tolerated them both well only had a little spit up after one. H*unter has also dropped 2oz of his weight upon weigh-in this morning since birth. But, now that he's tolerating feedings the Dr.'s don't look for it to be a problem.

Now for my title.....so many of you that know already are praying for them, but that those that don't know what is going on please if you can spare a prayer, would you? They can definitely use all the faith that anyone can put out there for them. As for J*ordan in all this he's being the ROCK. He's showed so much strength, and only broken down to cry when he heard H*unter's first cry when he was born and I saw him cry once on the phone talking to his mom away from everyone. He's being strong, and I'm trying to be there for all three of them. I'll keep you posted as things change.

I'm An Aunt!!! (Again)

H*attie had her baby last night. Little H*unter L*ee made his appearance into the world at 8:41pm. He came out screaming but with poor color and lung sounds. We were all able to hold him breifly for pictures then they took him to the NICU in the hospital. They put him on a breathing mask then switched him to a nasal cannula, but today he's holding his own and not needing oxygen at all. That little one is a fighter and a definite trooper. Poor H*attie though is not doing so good, and needs prayers. Her uterus was still boggy and not contracting back down at all last night or still today, and she's had to have three blood transfusions and clotting platelets, and be put back on the pitocin drip in her IV. Her Dr. has been talking possible need of a hysterectomy if she's still having problems 24hrs post-partum. She's so tore up over all of this and it's been a long hard road for her thus far. I just pray that things don't have to be to extreme for her.